we had such a thing

we had such a thing

 

 

 

selective hearing,

i said "i love you"

and i am sure i heard you

say it back,

 

then you walked out the door

and i did not hear it slam,

rather a gentle click

and behind it, you smiled

 

my heart was skipping beats

knowing yours was mine,

you stared coldly

flat lining

 

i took you into my arms

the embrace fierce

felt your body respond

begging for more

 

you went limp,

motionless

emotionless

 

i got down on one knee,

you kicked me over

screamed at me in your silence

 

i heard sweet nothings,

when really,

 

there were just 

                        nothings.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/1/16

Reviews

[SJ Mullins]

I have to concur with Darian on this one. I, too, have heard so many sweet nothings that it hurts. Haven't we all? You write the truth, darlin'. And as Darian said it is amazing. Well done! Sorry it is not a longer review; however, it is midnight, I am very sleepy, but waiting on a load of laundry. :P

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i appreciate your words, Suzanna....

thank you for the late visit...

i am about done, myself.

j.

[SJ Mullins]

I need to come back when I am not a zombie, lol. It really is a wonderful piece, and you are most welcome. xx

[Darian B.]

This one hits deep, the last few lines are just so true and so powerful. I've heard those sweet nothings so many times it hurts. I love the way you set up each way you saw the love but then directly contrast it with the truth. Im going to have to read more of your writing, this one was amazing

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Darian.

j.

[redzone]

oh boy, the "selective hearing" of love's whisper... the vision of her through fantasies lens and then realities reality enters the scene crushing the heart and and, well leaving "nothing" as it was all more illusions allusion... oh how I know this one Jacob... even when you listen and hear her words, they are often given much differently than we understand them as sometimes there is a huge difference between hearing and understanding... in this I have learn to listen and to ask many questions, though this is no guarantee either...

I enjoyed the references to Cool Hand Luke and "what we have here is a failure to communicate", but I would also add to this yes communicate, but also make sure what is communicated is also understood by all....

redzone

[jacob erin-cilberto]

true true, make sure it is understood by all...

thank you for your insightful words Curt....

j.

[Nisreen]

Sometimes nothing is everything

[jacob erin-cilberto]

absolutely....thank you, Curiosity.

j.

[Mary]

Wow, Erin, this poem is a sucker punch of truth! We want so much to hear, feel, taste, love from that one and only, that we really do think we hear, feel, taste,the love, but no. It is not so. And we pretend for as long as we can, until we can't. Thank you for sharing this poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Mary.

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

Sometimes we see what we want to see and hear what we want to when we believe we are in love.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and we assume the same feelings on the other side...mmmm....yes, don't we?

thank you, KL...appreciate your visit, very much.

j.

[Papaya]

So many relationships end this way because we don't communicate in the same language.
This to me sounds like a fling, but only one of you realized that it wasn't for keeps.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

very smart...thank you for your insights, Ana.

j.

[Papaya]

You're welcome Jacob.

[barleygirl]

This one is almost painful to ponder . . . the sad situation where one person is hearing something hopeful, despite the actual reality which is right in front of our faces. You've managed to make this revelation feel like one's heart being slowly sliced open with a serrated knife. This ending is superb word crafting & oh-to-true-to-life: "I heard sweet nothings when really there were just nothings."

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, barleygirl.

j.

[Pryde Foltz]

I laughed and I cried. I don't know what to tell ... actually I do. Some people just want what they can't have and aloof is irresistible to this sort. Clever clever write, Jacob:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that is true, thank you, Pryde..

j.

[Marianne Rose]

A powerful and true telling of how we can misinterpret people and how they feel about us because we are looking through our own lens, hearing what we want to hear. I love the various contrasts- door slamming and gentle click, the embrace, getting down on one knee and being kicked, screamed at in silence. A great succinct and poetic ending. Thanks for the message and the surprises.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Marianne.

j.