the layout of us

the layout of us



we became coupled like slow freight cars
rolling down tracks of tenacity

aged, valiantly pulled along
toward some station of contentment

when we kissed, the doors opened
love spilled out onto the rails

the spillage built up over so many years
of passing the same scenery
and losing momentum

a toss of spontaneous coal
and the engine alighted
our hearts reconnected

like an old Lionel under the Christmas tree
we received the gift of
rebirth---

choo choo with you
rolling on
rolling through.


erin-cilberto
6/28/16

Reviews

[Sheila Kline]

Hop on board The Love Train and enjoy the ride..........feel the rhythm of the connection of the union from one space to another, passing hill and vale, the ups and downs of life, but most of all, just being together through it all.

Your ability to take a snapshot of life as we know and turn it into a lasting memory is phenomenal!
I just love this!
Yes, choo choo, rolling on, rolling through! Keep that Train of Life running along the rails of love!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Sheila...
j.

[andrew mitchell]

You've depicted life so well with the imagery of trains. Delightful!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, andrew.

j.

[Nessly]

Great use of metaphor carried throughout your poem. It's beautiful.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Nessly...

j.

[H.L. Cerveise]

You are such a master of metaphors. I just went on a train ride this past weekend. It brought back memories of all the train tracks in my life, the real ones I mean. Now I will have another vision overlaid on them by your rekindling of love train. I loved it.

Well done.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words...i am glad this could bring you back...

j.

[Ruth]

Rekindling, so to speak, never sounded so bless and innocent :) You carry the emotion so elegantly throughout Jacob :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Poppy.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Two people find each other again after many years. This happens in many marriages. Loved the metaphor. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Lydi.
j.

[Marianne Rose]

This is great- couldn't have voiced it better about my relationship with my husband. And the lightness at the end, old-fashioned and silly, captures the delight. Thank you!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i am so glad you could relate in the way you did to this...congratulations for riding that train of love for the years you have.

j.