in collusion

in collusion 

 

 

 

seared by your suddenly frozen lips

a death warrant served,

the bounty, broken dreams

 

i had you dead to rights

certainly in my sights

felt the lam

with you would be forever

 

someone had to pay the price

and we were running away from our own crime

"delusion"

 

dissonance ignored,

affections pick-pocketed 

your eyes arrested me

but then you betrayed me with 

false testimony

 

and here i sit alone

waiting on love's death row

 

scheming to get a retrial

free those dreams

and recapture your heart.

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

6/24/16

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

Wanting to get back that ever elusive love can feel like punishment and conspiracy against us, all at once.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, KL...

j.

[barleygirl]

As you often do, you've chosen a somewhat playful motif & stuck to it like glue with many imaginative word choices & metaphors connected by the idea of crime & punishment. Love contrasts like this: "seared by your suddenly frozen lips" . . . I also love that the "crime" is "delusion" (oh, aren't we all guilty of that!) . . . and on & on the delightful word play goes.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, barleygirl...

j.

[Sami Khalil]

People betray for many reasons and many seasons. The lies become like a verdict of injustice towards the victim trapped in the void of nothingness. This was effective and uplifting at the end....:))))

[jacob erin-cilberto]

your responses are always so insightful, Sami...

i appreciate you, my friend.

thanks

j.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome muchly. ....:)))))

[Lydia Shutter]

Running away together...thinking you are partners in crime, but alas, no honor among thieves, is there? No matter how badly a lover hurts you, there is still that one velvety spot in your heart for him/her. There is always a chance things will change. We tell ourselves that, but it never happens. What a great string of poems I have read from you this morning. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words on this poem and your comment on the other reads, also...

read morethank you for your kind words on this poem and your comment on the other reads, also...

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

I had the displeasure of handing out meds on death row at Graterford prison. If you want I can slip you a nice pill and the 1 hour out of 24 that you get out of your cell we could talk.......maybe whisper what a great write in the deep end of the inkwell.

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

interesting job you had...that had to be hard....

thank you for sharing...i politely decline the pill...not sure how it will affect me.

:)))


j.

[Papaya]

I really like this because I can relate to this bad relationship that even when it ends we can't let it die and want it all over again. Reminds me of lady gaga's bad romance.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Ana...

we have had similar experiences, i'm pretty sure.read morethank you for your words, Ana...

we have had similar experiences, i'm pretty sure.

j.

[andrew mitchell]

this is like the dark side of Romeo and Juliet, the tragedy being she's cold as ice and yet he cannot give up the quest that she may change her mind.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"on the dark side, whoa yeah, on the dark side"

thank you, andrew....

[V]

Great choice of words, I adore this one. The love and death combination reads so well. I think all of your pieces read like as if you were writing along your thoughts, a frequent, poetic stream of consciousness. Though I have a tiny remark: "but then you betrayed me with", the "but then" reads a little unsmooth somehow, almost sort of clumsy, I think you could go well without it but only my opinion.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

will consider the suggestion, and i appreciate your review, my friend.

j.

[V]

Anytime...

[Pryde Foltz]

Superb metaphor work ... smiling here:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Pryde.

j.

[Marianne Rose]

I love the different ways you look at love, ways I would never think to see, stepping inside the theme of bounty, death row, trial - the images of prison, escape, running for your life come to mind. I have such a romanticized view of love it is refreshing to see it from another perspective in your images.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Marianne.

j.