the shimmering echo

the shimmering echo

 

 

spit shine poet

patent leather lover

the reflection's like a lying mirror

 

something hiding behind it

two way glass,

the other side laughing at the conceit

 

he writes romantic beads of passion

in his own mind,

but what translates onto paper

 

is just ugly droll drool

that impresses no one

and eventually,

 

makes him cower from his own image.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

6/23/16

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

whether introspective or of reading another's poem of love ... the brutal honesty is admirable ... i think generally speaking that we all wonder what other's might see in our posts ... we make them crystal clear to completely enigmatic and seems either way there are all kinds of reaction ... i think it is what makes the internet so difficult ... between the lines can be a long way off one's mark ..
great title ...both times in reading had to stop and think on that "shimmering echo" ... but your poem, in contrast, reads for me as a negative self talk feedback loop ..and its your closing that really intrigues me ..one would hope that seeing such utter failure one would not give up .... after all once pride is truly seen ..we take a huge step in a good direction ... sorry ..i do prattle on ;) great stuff for me to chew on this morning!
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love your prattle, E.

and i really appreciate your insights and kind words...

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

What we write is not necessarily what we live. We can not be responsible for the connotations readers put on our words. It's all in what THEY bring to the party. Lots of introspection here...and a touch of masochism if you ask me. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

mmm perhaps yes, to what you say here Lydi...not even sure myself, or of myself.

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

A stabbing in the heart of hearts. I said this more than once to myself but never with this crushing honesty!

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i often see myself as a poetic fraud...just a feeling that creeps in between the lines.

read morei often see myself as a poetic fraud...just a feeling that creeps in between the lines.

thank you, Al.

j.

[icelandicblue]

A poet once told me, "No one will ever love your words as much as you do." We are only able to write what we see, or what we wish to see. When alone with our words we are our own mirrors. Real life it seems has other plans for us. As always your writing leaves me much to reflect upon. A pleasure to read you this evening.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing that quote and for your insights...i appreciate your visit.

j.

[andrew mitchell]

I had a chuckle over this. The inspiring deluded poet who has tickets on himself, thinks he's the greatest only to find he's not.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, andrew,---we do delude ourselves sometimes...

j.

[Papaya]

This reminds me of a friend who is nuts about a girl. When he talks about her to me he is so open and passionate but he's a dork when he's with her. I don't get it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sort of like Marty's dad in Back to the Future, telling the girl he likes that she is his "density" instead of "destiny"---
thank you, Ana.

j.

[Papaya]

Lol. Yes!!! Like that!

[Marianne Rose]

I don't know you Jacob, but I did read it as a self-portrait- the darker side of the poet's ego, hidden, maybe in false humility, but still there even if we try to exorcise it. If it isn't about you, but about others, it reads like a harsh judgement of those trying to find their words and hiding under arrogance or conceit. For me, it pulls compassion from my heart if it a self-portrait. Maybe, as a woman, I'm drawn toward artists who never feel they're good enough. It also reminds me of someone who wants to write great love songs to his beloved but the words never say it the way he imagined. I like that it makes me wonder about who you're talking about . . .

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Marianne, really appreciate your insights and kind words,

j.

[redzone]

well Jacob, if this is "self portrait", I would disagree and vehemently.... but I did not read your poem this way... I read more we have had our fair share of such poets here at WC, self serving, egotistical pretenders who think their poetry is all that when dribble is a generous term at best... Their "spit" could no more shine their words than their shoes... for such people, who allows ego to determine their words, art eludes them and in my opinion they do not fade away but must be swept away will heavy brooms...

of course you know me Jacob, I often have my foot firmly in my mouth when it comes to reviewing poems... one thing is true though, every poem I have ever read from you has allowed for many great adventures within the words, synapses and metaphors... that is at least one way to distinguish real poetry and art vs "ugly droll drool" ...

redzone

[jacob erin-cilberto]

actually had more to do with a local event here in Southern Illinois...but i always enjoy seeing what others find in the pieces...and definitely could fit, i am sure...

thank you for your extended review, Curt.

j.

[V]

I love this one for it shines in straightforwardness, not your usual way of writing, therefore a lovely, refreshing read. It has this certain kind of "in your face" attitude which I really appreciate.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Vanessa.

j.

[James]

Hmm, interesting topic Jacob, not your usual love poem (or lost love poem). I think that we all like our poetry a little better than it really is and there is a level of conceit among writers...we don't take criticism well.

Well, that's what I get here.

I wonder how many know what a spit shine is?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, James, appreciate your visit.

j.