mute melody

mute melody

A Poem by jacob erin-cilberto


mute melody

 

 

expressive tones,

your eyes are music

i am tone deaf but still feel the magic

 

in your philosophical gaze

as you imply possibilities

with a heart not recovered

 

from another's off-key song...

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

6/19/16

© 2016 jacob erin-cilberto


My Review

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Reviews

I love the format here. The single statement. Then two short stanzas, each one a description, followed by the response of the protagonist, followed by emotional embellishment. Then a single line to bind them.
Very intelligent use of form and simplicity for a complex theme.
I love it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

8 Years Ago

thank you for your kind review, Amy

j.
Wow .. this was really nice. I love every bit of it . Thanks for sharing your work

Posted 8 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

8 Years Ago

thank you, zunie.

j.
Lovely write fear of another broken song....

Posted 8 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

8 Years Ago

thank you, Moon.
j.
amazingly written keep it up :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

8 Years Ago

thank you, cherryblossom...

j.
Urja Gokani

8 Years Ago

welcome :)
Even before the heart has recovered we start dancing to the tunes played by melodious eyes.
Men will be men.
Another beautiful poem.

Posted 8 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

8 Years Ago

thank you for your words, Shabeeh...

j.
off-key song just mean you're learning?
right?
guess not always here.
I like this one... I'm in a music mode myself.

Posted 8 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

8 Years Ago

thanks Bacchus...i am always in that mode...always...

appreciate your kind words.
read more
Love between two people is so much like music. It consists of lyrics, dance and its own unique rhythm. Your piece reminds me so much of how it truly is and there is always, "...a heart not recovered."

Well done.

Posted 8 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

8 Years Ago

thank you for your kind review, H.L.

j.
Being the rebound person is never easy. Still, someone has to feel the magic and break through. Hearts never recover if no one takes a chance. Lydi**

Posted 8 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

8 Years Ago

that is true...thank you, Lydi.

j.
Your poem reminds me of all the people wandering around thru life, afraid to reach out anymore, still stinging from past hurts (love: "another's off-key song"), such that eventually we are all engaged in a "mute melody" (excellently crafted phrase). Imagine if we could all break free from this fear & damage & just openly love each other!

Posted 8 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

8 Years Ago

thank you for your very kind review, barleygirl.

j.
This is really really good as always Jacob.

Posted 8 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

8 Years Ago

thank you, Cassie...:)))

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17 Reviews
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Added on June 21, 2016
Last Updated on June 21, 2016

Author

jacob erin-cilberto
jacob erin-cilberto

Carbondale, IL



About
Originally from Bronx, NY, I live in Carbondale, Illinois...teach English at a community college and have been writing and publishing poetry since 1970. I am here to read for inspiration from other po.. more..

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