the second recess

the second recess

 

 

we had such perfect chemistry,

but the math was off by years

my adolescent tongue

lost its English speaking savvy

 

and my speech class consisted of me

composing hello's

while you were speaking goodbyes 

in some foreign language,

from a class i never took

 

and when the school bell rang

you got a ride home from someone else

while i carried my own education

off a teenage cliff

 

falling both for you and from you

at the same time.

 

 

erin-cilberto

6/17/16

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Another very strong message here, well-expressed with clarity. I can feel the teenage angst & the disappointment of mismatched intentions. Since a friend of mine just lost his friend to suicide over lost love, the ending is especially poignant . . . I love this word crafting: "I carried my own education off a teenage cliff." Also, the final couplet is exquisite in the way you describe this "falling" from two distinct directions.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, barleygirl...

j.

[SJ Mullins]

I enjoy reading your pieces. You write so exquisitely. You nail the feelings of a teenager both in love and feeling heartbreak. I love everything about this, title included! Very nice splash of ink. I look forward to reading more of your work.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, SJ.

j.

[Shannon]

This is so invocative of that time in life, when people really do feel those mixed feelings so intensely. Made older me smile. Youthful me cringe, slightly.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like that ..."the older me smile, the younger me cringe"

those memories are special to me because i never really gave up my youth...still feel so connected to that teenage self...like dylan wrote "i was so much older then, i'm younger than that now"---

thank you S.

j.

[Shannon]

You have no idea how happy I am (and how fortunate my little corner of the world is) that I did grow past my youth!