Feather Dusting the Rhetorical Evidence

Feather Dusting the Rhetorical Evidence

 

 

 

you get respites

he breathes old mountain dust

 

the trees bend to give homage

as he succumbs to the travesty

 

of inclination 

to remember to forget

(on purpose?)

 

where do dreams go to die

are they myths

growing in a desert of whimsical folly

 

when did those bars appear on the windows

of his mind

where did you go years before

when he knew you, needed you

 

now there is a glimpse of you for him

but he can't comprehend the vision

 

and you won't stay long enough

for him to write you down

in his memory.

 

 

erin-cilberto

6/3/16

Reviews

[V]

I love, as so often, your choice of words. Perfectly combined and melded into a piece rich in originality

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Vanessa.

j.

[V]

I hit the send button before I was finished....

and images, kind of opaque yet adorable. One thing and maybe my first critical point on one your writings ever, the words in parentheses read unnecessary and off, sort of. ...

[andrew mitchell]

We are a funny lot, we can be so open and just takes one turn to be closed. Unapproachable, left out, distant from the world and loved ones.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sorry, andrew, i missed this review...thank you for your insights.

j.

[barleygirl]

Even tho I'm not sure what it means, I love the title! Love the third stanza with its straightforward summary of the situation. Bars appearing on the windows of his mind -- great imagery! And last, but not least, I resemble that final stanza (painfully admitted).

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, barleygirl...

j.

[Pryde Foltz]

I believe there exists in everyone's mind a place where 'we' worked it out and stayed together forever in contentment. Perhaps this is where he resides and so the you that is you today is not the one he remembers but he does remembers you. He lets you know when he talks of his younger self and your younger self.Ask him questions and let him remember more. When all gets whittle down and it does for all of us ... there is only love. Much to you, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, my friend...

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

Very difficult, this descent, into the dark, that seems to be the same, but different, every day. A painful journey. The lines reverberate with the hurt.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your understanding words, KL.

j.

[redzone]

your poems of late have taken on a more somber note, still introspective but more around death, death of a loved one, more so than the death of love... at least it seems so to me...

it has been difficult for me to comment, because they are so deeply moving and I am always pulled and wanting to say more than I like your poetry, metaphor this, image that, which of course you do do so well... but it's more the way you write compels the reader in such a way they want to give you a hug and say silly things like it's gonna be okay (and it's not), this whole ugly culture doesn't really allow for men to hug, and yet its what any human being should do when they see someone, a friend in pain... to let them know that they care and that they are not alone... to me this is in large part why we do create art, to entice people to feel...

he may not at this point recognize you, but we all can see for him the person you are and no one can take that from him or us... and it just shows in each word you write...

redzone

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Curt...

much appreciated...

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

No, Jacob, you are wrong. He does remember you. He remembers your essence. He needs those brief visits from you as much as you need to see him. Losing a parent slowly is excruciating. I understand and relate. Such an emotional write. Touching. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Lydi...
j.

[Ed Hart]

are we talking about you, or another, or does it matter, you are still touching the process, watching, seeing it on your horizon...there's no adjustment, it's like that gorilla with the child in his cage, you just don't know what he's thinking, but you can see it's something, the pieces slowly moving together, but what...meanwhile, the moments keep moving

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love your insights, Ed...thank you for your words...
j.

[Nisreen]

I guess You have perfectly given The idea of fear a body of words.
Between Two once this idea of fear takes Over
Everything starts to look Less clear
I guess thats Why love is only for The brave .....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Curiosity.

j.