up there

up there

 

 

 

on the side of the winding lake

the road takes the same twists and turns

 

mountain meth

the highway full of potholed pills 

 

his waters stirred in chaos...

the smoke rises in acrid scent

 

mind veers off pavement

a few memories survive

 

the rest drown in concrete whirlpools

superfluous wounds,

 

the drug of age

slowly kills 

but quickly mitigates the splash of thoughts

 

and the heart capsizes

as it watches the deterioration

of the peaks 

into small hills of quaint refuge

 

and then, common dust.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

5/27/16

Reviews

[Phillip Francis]

Tragic, but true. There is some wonderful imagery and the correlation between old age and a mind controlled by addiction is quite intriguing. It's a very astute analogy.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Phillip..
j.

[andrew mitchell]

Terrible to see meth do its work. a profound write Jacob. Life on drugs is really time distorted on fast forward.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

even when age makes the mind react like it is on meth....so distorted...
thank you, andrew,read moreeven when age makes the mind react like it is on meth....so distorted...
thank you, andrew,

j.

[andrew mitchell]

yes old age has its own ways of distortion, dementia, a stroke, pain killers to name a few so that was the underlying message J. I was carried away by the meth lol Oh well!

[mou]

I like the last part specially!
But I don't find here that only few memories survive, as you describe every thing in such a beautiful way, that it create the visualization of the actual one in reader's mind..
A profound piece of writing ..!
Thanks for sharing this with us..

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, mou,
j.

[Lyn Anderson]

Whether the decline be to self abuse, age, or both -- the result is much the same -- tragic, and in the end, death. A difficult thing to watch when someone you love is afflicted. Great poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, KL...

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

oh my ...spot on sir! great job ...meth ... the 2 bit social blight as the plague of days gone by .. your description is so medically graphic ..if those users only knew what happens the very first instant of use ..receptor sight of the brain taken over completely and then destroyed ... so even our God given biophysical balance of happy and sad has no chance to survive .. meth addicts have the least chance of kicking the habit of most all the abused drugs .. and i really appreciate the ..."....potholed pills" play on words ..no one will ever convince me that pot is OK ..other than specific pain control for certain cancers .. anyway ..don't mean to get on my soap box :} ..great job!
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i enjoy your soap box---thank you for all your insights and kind words on my work, E.

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

i think you are a gifted and well grounded writer ..really appreciate your influence here at the cafe .. truly do

[Gee]

Being thick I wasn't sure whether this was drug addiction, old age and a failing mind, both or neither. Nonetheless it's a pleasure to read(even if I am clueless) the words of a well educated and talented man/poet. You show what is possible, but only to very few. A pleasure.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your really kind words, Gee,

j.

[Pryde Foltz]

A superb write, Jacob. A wise woman once said the dementia and Alzheimer's is a result of an individual who carries with them a sense of something incomplete and so they are given a slow decline so they may find that closure. I used to volunteer in an extended care ward back in university. So I saw a lot of this. I had no idea how to deal with it and so mostly I just listened and observed. Yes ... there always seemed a point they were trying to win, a misdeed they felt they needed to make-up for and, in the most delightful turn, a childhood they wanted to experience. At the age of 23, I played tea party with a woman of 80. I'll say it again this was an amazingly poignant and superb write:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you so much for your kind words, Pryde. and for sharing your experience.

j.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Powerful words, great imagery. A rich journey of emotions

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Shabeeh.

j.

[Randhir kaur]

That's really amazing.. this something different in manner..things can such be you showed..well written..enjoyed..

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Randhir.

j.