these broncos don't ride interstates

these broncos don't ride interstates

mamma's little cowboys

grow up to fall off saddles

but the insane ones get back on the horse

and buck their way to the asylum of carbon dating

and the print kisses back when the barn door closes

the hay is comfortable in the mind

but the mind is out to pasture

and a taller hat

can't hide the six-gun thoughts

whose aim has forsaken

them,

as the bullets bounce off the trees

of a forest so thick,

there are no trails left to ride... 

erin-cilberto

5/27/16

Reviews

[h d e rushin]

don't you hate it when the longtime couples tell you "your young, you still have time". Which is
the metaphor for, keep getting on that horse dana even if that last fall stung a little bit.
The crazy ones listen to the rabble and get back on again and then again. The sane ones
just watch from behind the iron style.

the metaphor here is so perfect.....dana

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, dana...

j.

[Phillip Francis]

I see this piece as a motivational. Getting back on the horse, continue to ride. Whether the mind is as sharp as it once was, you've lost our aim, or the end of the trail is near, you have to continue to ride. I feel the theme presented is perseverance.

If this was your intention or not, it is still a marvelous write and I was able to enjoy it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind and insightful review, Phillip.

j.

[Gray]

Finding love and keeping it aren't so easy. The saddle gets slippery, sometimes people are unaware that the saddle isn't even tied tight enough for him. It makes a man wonder if time has left him in the dust on the wrong trail.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Just Browsing...

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Little boys....every mama thinks her little boy is wonderful, but then how do so many grow up to be gun toting cowboys? Then I read the words again and thought this is more about men and the romantic history they have when they try to find a new love. Is it possible to find a true love after so many mistakes? Your meanings are always multi-layered. I liked this. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Lydi...

j.

[zephyr]

I am reminded of the Willie Nelson song ... Mama's Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys. The images of ourself we create don't always serve. Love that last stanza in particular.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, lotus blossoms.

j.

[andrew mitchell]

I love the metaphor here J. The imagery of cowboys blending with romance is just spot on. very clever!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, andrew.

j.

[redzone]

it's true, you can find romance, fail, find again but unless the "barn door closes" and you are with the one you love, you do rum up against that wall, or with your metaphor, a forest so thick (past mistakes/pains?) that no matter what you may do, the ride is over... I do know that asylum Jacob, it's "carbon dating" is worse than padded walls...

redzone

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Curt...always appreciate your visits...

j.

[barleygirl]

This kinda reminds me of my old pal Donnie, for whom "My Favorite Ride" I wrote recently (both the man & his truck resemble my title). His was a long, bittersweet life, what came after the sweet sexy innocence of my written story. Your poem reminds me of the disjointed nature of getting glimpses into his life, as my hippie-cowboy grew older, entangled in a bad relationship, etc. I know you don't need much to imagine how this story goes. With bullets ricocheting off trees, I mostly kept my distance, but always kept my fondness for the man who died last summer of his vices (((HUGS)))

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow, such a sad story, but your friendship had to be a sweet part of his life, for sure.

read morewow, such a sad story, but your friendship had to be a sweet part of his life, for sure.

thank you for sharing, barleygirl...

j.

[V]

Reads nicely, evoking lovely images but somehow remains ambiguos, untransparent for me. But I don't need to fully understand a poem to think it's a good one. Your word choice is and stays (as actually always) fabulous and it's always a pleasure to read your poems.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

however it means to you...that works...i am glad you could find something of value in the write.
read morehowever it means to you...that works...i am glad you could find something of value in the write.

j.

[V]

You're welcome. I frequently find value in your poems and I totally enjoy reading them.

[Einstein Noodle]

hmmmm very interesting ... love the metaphors of carbon and the ol' barnyard ..i am left pondering and squeezing my own thoughts from each line and verse ... my gun locked and loaded (rubber bullets or not) but yet to find a target .... i am glad for the closing with thick forests instead of wastelands!
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ah yes...thank you E.---those forests can get pretty thick.

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

yes ... its not hard for me to find a reason to take a nap ..when the brain taps out ... for loss of a trails vision ..it is definitely nap time ;) maybe a tall tomato beer first :)))