on being elderly

on being elderly

 

 

 

arrogant physicians

with clumsy manner

and sometimes equally inept hands

 

diagnoses all over the charts

like roughly sketched treasure maps

feeling the incisions

of errant decisions,

 

we escape into anesthesia's woods

hoping to come out the other side

with elegant scars

and no poison ivy contrition 

 

lamenting our faith

in the Hippocratic oath

which often seems like

swearing on a seldom opened

Bible,

 

we are reeling from the feeling

that we are not really healing

 

just mis-believing     

in not-so miracle cures

and poor etiquette added in

for good measure.

 

 

erin-cilberto

4/23/16

Reviews

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Yes I totally agree. Sometimes I think that we are martians from another planet looking for ways to survive longer as we exhaust this world.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, i like your insight...we may be so worried about aliens, yet are aliens ourselves...
read moreyes, i like your insight...we may be so worried about aliens, yet are aliens ourselves...

j.

[Zahra]

we are reeling from the feeling
that we are not really healing

just mis-believing
in not-so miracle cures

Wow, I love the way you've described this matter. Having to deal with physicians can be a real ordeal especially if you are chronically ill or of old age.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Zahra...

j.

[forgotten_ghosts]

In my opinion you captured the problems and fears of old people very good but you also criticized the problem in medicin and, which is also really important, in the pharmaceutical industry. Your use of words is great and complex as usual. Great!
Thomas

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Thomas.

j.

[barleygirl]

Your poem almost incites me into a diatribe about many of these aspects. I'm of a completely different mind, when it comes to practiced medicine. I'll just stop there. Not to say your poem is wrongly stated, no, it's spot-on. Let it suffice to say you've captured so much, so eloquently, with enjoyable rhymes that are unpredictable and my very favorite: thoughtful word selections.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, barleygirl...

j.

[ms. barrie]

captivating write that brilliantly depicts the "joys" of what we have to
face when getting older. seems to me, the more academically successful
some are,
the lower their emotional iq is (or becomes...eh, perhaps always were) -- so many amazing lines
to choose from, but what stands out for me is:
5th verse/stanza. incredible use of language that speaks profoundly.

always a pleasure to visit your ink, jacob...look forward to
reading more...& thank you for sharing!
~ X - barrie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, barrie...

j.

[VALORMORE DE PLUME]

When young, the days flow through the hourglass without notice. As the sands at the top become smaller we begin to feel the weight of each grain of sand as it thunders into the swelling pile in the bottom. Every grain remaining in the top becomes a treasure, that the young appear to despise.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

very insightful words, here, Valormore....thank you for your review...

j.

[AYVID N]

The miseries of advancing age... the countless ailments on one hand and the arrogant, indifferent attitude of those who are supposed to care. The more they advance in learning, the more retarded they become emotionally. No wonder, so many elderly and terminally ill prefer to die at home rather than in that unfeeling, antiseptic place, hooked to heart-lung machines. A great statement made, beautifully worded.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing your insights, DIVYA...

j.

[AYVID N]

You are most welcome Jacob

[Bacchus]

...that we are not really healing

like roughly sketched treasured mapped (is our aging skin looking) along with those diagnoses :)

i think i fall into the trap- not sure why, almost everytime
but that the appointment scheduled on the books is the day that everything will be clear
and all will be on the way to recovery...

makes me think back to my A Girl poem-
i am just a doctor- the pedestal of modern medicine...
and yet we do it- or at least I do almost every scheduled visit

better just schedule with the physicians assistant first
so we have prepared in our minds that there might be some hope
in the field

and yet
I have one gem of a dr.
who has, allowed me to be a wife and a mom again... :)

thanks for letting me ramble here- you took me places

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing where it took you, my friend...

j.