the proximity of professions

the proximity of professions

 

 

lawns freshly cut

the scent adorns a suburban morning

hedge rows neatly fringe alike houses

 

shutters all painted green

so serene, 

so the same

 

give me the complexity of a chaotic yard

rusty swing set

bald tires by the wading pool

 

fifty shades of lime lawn

sour shutters of different colors

stalled car in the driveway, smoking

 

sandal shone neighbor screaming at his kids

as to who let the dog do his business

on the dilapidated porch

 

frayed patio chair sinking with his weight---

as two blocks away, 

a suit starts his Mercedes

 

and takes a puff on his electronic cigarette 

tucks his speed under his seat

and flies to work...

 

 

erin-cilberto

4/17/16

Reviews

[CD Campbell]

I think there can be a simple beauty in both order and chaos. Without one there cannot be the other. Isn't it the one who is ashamed of his chaotic nature to be suspicious of? I must say that I did get tickled by the stanza of our hero stepping on dogshit. This was a good work of yours and a good exercise in description. I felt like I could simply reach out and pluck that e-cig out of the yuppies mouth. CD

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights and kind review, CD...

j.

[W.k.kortas]

I am reminded, somewhat, of the Monkees' classic "Pleasant Valley Sunday", though this has much more subtlety and, as such, more wickedness. Fine, fine stuff.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, W.k.

appreciate your visits...and love that song..."Mrs. Grey is proud today because her roses are in bloom, and Mr. Green is so serene he has a tv in every room."

[Alfred Kukitz]

Perhaps it's a Brooks Brothers suit! Oh boy!

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Al...ah Brooks Brothers...

j.

[AYVID N]

Wow. Such captivating descriptions drawn with your pen. The mind screams, for variety, color, clutter and chaos when the uniformity and the silence become a threat to sanity. Appreciated so much...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, DIVYA...

j.

[AYVID N]

It was a pleasure...

[...]

I find this a truly awesome piece of work Jacob. Confined within a few blocks (minds) so close and yet seemingly so far apart...samples of humanity...only a stroll away from another's "lot"

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, lynn....

j.

[James]

Nothing like living in the suburbs to dull the senses, everything's the same, no variety and go ahead and try to be different, see how fast the HOA is called.

I like the sandal shoed neighbor screaming at his kids, I've got that picture in my head and know exactly who you are talking about. Of course, my neighbors might think you are talking about me.

You've captured the difference between inner city and suburbia beautifully.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, James....i appreciate your reviews very much.

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

There are many places like this, where the two worlds are worlds apart, but side by side. I like the description, it is very real.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, KL...
j.

[Norman 223]

As a town dweller, I love getting away into the country for peace and quiet. When in Australia even the cackle of kookaburras is pure music compared to noisy exhausts etc.
If I may be permitted to say this Jacob, I found this to be one of your more "accessible" poems where I could just read and enjoy it, without having to spend ages unravelling the metaphors before I could make a sensible comment.. ( I think I'm getting old ):-)

Norman

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think you are just getting wiser, not older...and i really always appreciate your honest comments...thank you for your kind review...

j.

[barleygirl]

My humble mountain cabin would be the latter. Rich weekend neighbors rush out here in their gas-guzzlers, run noisy weed whackers & leaf blowers for hours on end as I choke on the exhaust clouding the air. They never stay to enjoy this awesome wilderness spot or their fancy summer homes with swimming pools professionally cleaned weekly for naught. They rush back to town, leaving manicured devastation, & me loving that it's Monday when my world becomes still & quiet once again. I'm pretty sure I'm getting your message loud & clear *heh! heh! heh!*

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, you are...and i thank you for your kind review and sharing....

j.

[Bacchus]

I'm a suburban girl...
and it makes you scream-
"give me life!"
"give me color"
"give me something real"
even the real dog s**t of life.

Nice write. I think I'm going to put a flamingo out front now.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i'd like to see that flamingo....thank you, Bacchus.

j.