earning an invitation

earning an invitation

 

 

 

i'm carving out

a craving into your exposed impression

that outweighs the expression

that falls short from me

when i sit at your table,

enjoying the feast of your suppression

 

knowing there will be grace before the meal

and you might be tempted to feel

for me,

what i feel for you

when we finally sup together

 

napkins optional,

silverware sensuality set on the proper side

of a longing that longs to ignore etiquette

 

and just dig into plates of fate

with lips, fingers, hands

and plans

 

of reckless abandon.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

4/9/16

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

dig in, enjoy, and hope you don't get burned.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes....thank you, KL...

j.

[Pryde Foltz]

Between you and KL a girl can get really distracted. Fun and sexy write, Jacob:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ha ha....thank you, Pryde...appreciate your words.

j.

[AYVID N]

I love the amazing subtlety and the softly felt satire in your words. So are so good with words. The contrast in the external situation and the internal current of thoughts is so palpable. Appreciated so much...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review..DIVYA...

j.

[dan]

jacob, Your clever irregular rhyming gives this piece a bit of instability that really works well in setting the desired tone. The piece appears to invoke a formal dinner setting, as in 'meeting the parents,' while the protagonist and his new love just want to get it over with and tear each other's clothes off. Reckless and abandon are two words that say so much more than the collection of letters; a state of hungry bliss that all lovers hope to reach...after dinner, of course!
So well done...I'm saving this to my favorites, so thank you for that. take care...dan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, dan....i appreciate your words very much.

j.

[J.R.H.]

Great poem Jacob. Its always exciting to break through that initial wall into reckless abandon with someone you love.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, J.R.H.

j.

[Carolynn]

I love your line of a longing that longs to ignore etiquette - there's always that formality at the start of a relationship that you try to respect but you really can't wait to just relax and have fun - let your true self emerge and then dip in as you say with lips, fingers, hands and plans - so well written :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Carolynn.
j.

[V]

Love this one. The descriptions, metaphors match the topic. I think you even managed to build up a certain kind of sensual tension, especially by the beginning of the third stanza which lasts throughout the lines until the end.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Vanessa...
and really nice pic...

j.

[V]

Thank you. You're welcome.

[James]

Interesting take on how we have to hold back on our desires until the appropriate time. Aways respecting tradition and etiquette, but hating every minute of the wait and formalities.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

such keen insights, James...thank you for your response to this piece.

j.

[M. Shepherd]

I love how you know what you're doing here, that is, you state it from the beginning - you're projecting - letting fantasy paint this scene and letting high hopes imbue her with the very desire that you're filled with. And it peppered with assonant words speaks to that, craving and carving is one of my favorites - you want her feelings to mirror your own. Or is that overanalysis? Most probably. In any case, it reads loverly.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like your analysis ....thank you for your insights, Marcie.

j.

[emmajoy]

Smiling at yet the suppressed ardour in this yet... admiring the way you lay poetry in such a commanding manner! Some of us write poetry, you j. know how to write it.

Have a feeling that there was much thinking about how to lay your literary table but a little less on how to savour the feast. Mayhaps?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, emma...

j.