a poet didn't write this

a poet didn't write this

 

 

 

i am going to un-write you,

even if i have to spell all the words backwards

this non-poem will defunct your spell on me

 

tears dot the i's

handkerchief hallucinations

of love,

extended rhyme with you

never had even similar sounds

 

wasn't slant rhyme

more like dead rhyme

free verse for you

a lonely sonnet for me,

badly written

 

i am going to un-write you,

watch my fingers move like lightning

there will be thunder in my theme

 

as i dream you, not awake

but away

with middle of the night blackening 

of the white sheets,

 

that no longer have purity in context

just a conjuring of text

to undo

you.

 

 

erin-cilberto

4/8/16

Reviews

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

I liked the part where the sheets turned black.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, UFO,

j.

[Alisa Js]

This one is filled with loneliness and pain😞😞so sad

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Alisa.
j.

[m.s.early]

My heart is trying to magnificently perform this poem. This is full of the emptiness caused by loneliness.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, x.

j.

[Terpsichore]

You are in good company here Jacob; as I read, I was minded of that famous verse from the Rubaiyat.

Would that we could indeed 'unwrite.'

T

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you so much for your kind thoughts, T.

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

It would be amazing to be able to un-write the pain of a failed relationship. Wonderful write.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, KL...yes, don't we wish we could!

j.

[annalysiar]

Indeed, great metaphors, and awesome write.
I love the idea

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for the kind words, annalysiar..

j.

[Érenn]

Love this one ^^ Clever, Clever, Clever!!! Okay sorry for being super excited but I can call this a superb write and really an un-poem for I could see the whole process of what created slowly being erased and creating a blank slate, for the next poem that could make you forget about that bad write. It's almost like the pieces being slowly dismantled. And maybe later re-used to create something that could be an ever-flowing poem. I don't know if what I stated here makes sense to you, but that's how I felt. Other than that loved those alliterations and subtle rhymes. Lovely imagery and the flow is maintained quite well throughout the poem ^^

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, it makes perfect sense, Erenn...and i appreciate you insights into my poems.

j.

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

A thing one can go on thinking about. Could we erase the past? Can we undo what is undone? Sir, your poem is an impeccable one. It is a pleasure to read you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Vatsal...

j.

[...]

Hands you a box of erasers :) pssst...it's a lot faster. But seriously, awesome metaphorical execution!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, and the offer of erasers...

j.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Would it were that we could so easily un-write the not-so-pleasant things in our life (people, experiences, etc.) Still, without the bad, we wouldn't nearly appreciate the good enough. As always, you have a clever way about your writing, very unexpected.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Linda Marie.

j.