the awkward fit

the awkward fit

 

 

i have longing shoes

but get tied up in laced regrets

loved you once, but you had me on my heels

 

backing up even as i kissed you forwardly

and you slapped me with a smile

that stung with so much pleasure

 

i almost fell out of my longing shoes

and now as i walk toward your dreams

you sleep me off, leaving my soul 

filled with your blues

 

in my longing shoes

that fit too perfectly

almost as well as the slippers

i wore, when you slipped out of me

much too easily.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

4/3/16

Reviews

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

Sir,
This is one of those few poems which one can go on reading on and on. The number of times you pressed the "Enter" key while writing your masterpiece is directly proportional to the number of times I smiled while reading it. Hats off!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Vatsal...

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

a wise woman once told me, never buy your lover shoes -- they can use them to walk away from you -- very interesting way you laced this all together.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review...

j.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I am ever amazed at how you can relate two otherwise seemingly unrelated things. Love and longing shoes ... only you! You are a master at putting these puzzle pieces together. I'm still scrambling to pick mine up off the floor.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you're writing is exceptional, Linda Marie...and it is always a joy and inspiration for me to read your words!

thank you, on this one..

j.

[AprilRN1210]

Perspective is a funny, fickle thing isn't it? sometimes things in life aren't as easily pieced together like a perfectly cut puzzle where you just have to find the right piece. in our rose colored, love filmed glasses we often see things we want to see instead of what is, and what feels like it fits really doesn't. And at times, things that we think would never fit actually do, quite confusing.... your open to interpretation, seamlessly woven metaphors never cease to amaze me and i have missed them so. my feet long to go, to explore, and to feel comfortable in their own skin, then maybe i can find something that fits... nicely done my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, April...i am appreciative of your perspectives, and your keen insights, often clarifying for me what i have written and why.

j.

[hcarson]

liking this one and all the metaphoric use..i don't use it as much as i should as i rush write unfortunatly..wish i could slow down and be more creative with my word use a*s you have done here, love it..quite literally slips off the tongue :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, h.

j.

[Alisa Js]

Sometimes, even when the heart says yes, logic screams "No!" But do we really listen? That is the question, isn't it...at the end of the proverbial day...

Nicely done.

Alisa💫

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and logic overrules sometimes when it shouldn't...thank you for your words, Alisa..

j.

[Alisa Js]

I know what you mean

[Bacchus]

yes- longing shoes.
you need to both have on pairs with magnets in the toes to make it work.
and we often give up in our sweats and slippers- don't we?

thanks for reminding me other people think in metaphors about life too-
and i'm not entirely crazy ;)

do you ever read stories... like my first chapter called Goodbye... i swear it's short.
i've been called more of a poet anyway :)

-bacchus

[jacob erin-cilberto]

hopefully we both aren't "entirely crazy"---thank you for your words...seldom if ever read stories...just pounce on here and catch up on reviewing poetry as often as i can...will try to get there...I swear! :)))

[...]

You are endless...endless, metaphoric, poetic, cinematography! I get quite a visual every time I come here :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for those very kind words, lynn.

j.

[Georgina Cross]

This is so beautiful- the allegory between love at the fit of a shoe is superb and the creativity in this poem shows the pure talent you have.
The last stanza really stands out for me, the notion of a fit being too perfect shows the complex difficulty of being in love.
Fantastic poem and will definitely be reviewing more.
I hope you get a chance to read my work and perhaps we can be friends.
Thank you for gracing us with this poem.
Georgie.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Georgie...

j.

[Carolynn]

It sounds like she had a perfectly easy time slipping away leaving you cold and shoeless - wonderful metaphors as usual Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Carolynn...

j.