rural rest stop

rural rest stop

 

 

off road,

sentiments in gravel dust

a figment of my imagination

rests on a bed of recollection

 

he figures on a day

when he will cross deliberately

to her side,

 

but for now,

he pounds his pillow

with a feeble fist of frustration

knowing how close she is to him

 

and how far away he is

from her.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

4/3/16

Reviews

[Christopher Stephenson ..]

I like the sentiments in this it rally brings me back to a person I used to be with her name was, Mary. I have one son his name, Brayden. and she is the mother. I need to help my dad for a while he lives across the other side of the u.s. I can not wait to see them both again. Beautiful work.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing how you related to this, Christopher.

j.

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

"but for now,
he pounds his pillow
with a feeble fist of frustration
knowing how close she is to him

and how far away he is
from her."
Excellently written, sir. Good alliteration, good irony and beautiful lines. The poem, overall, is a nice one to read. I am honoured to be one of your readers.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for reading my work and the kind comments, Vatsal

j.

[Carolynn]

Such an incredible expression of frustration, still loving someone, wanting to be with them but only having memories to hold on to because she is long gone....there always seems to be someone left in the dust in a break-up

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you so much for your kind review, Carolynn...

j.

[...]

This is interestingly written. Like instant replay, a self observation. Old regrets, still new. Hmmm...I like it, the way it makes you think. I sat with this one for a bit. I am sure that is how you so skillfully intended it :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, all of those...for him....thank you for pondering...

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Fists of frustration pounding just pounding, how many times no one knows and yet we see the hands clenched flying through the air. Suppose he sees her one more time?

I can almost see him!

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I can too, Al...thank you...I can also almost see her....

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

So close and yet so far.....is she real or is she just a fantasy? Hard to determine! Loving and admiring someone from afar is so difficult. Great metaphor. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Lydi...

j.

[B. Boileau]

I see a spirit that haunts what he has built in his mind for her. She's close, but might as well be on the other side of the world. So he continues to dream, promising himself someday...
That's what I enjoy most about your pieces, they give the reader the freedom to expound their own version
yet another enjoyable read

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, bill...

j.

[highonwords]

marvelously lonely my friend - i love this - i enjoyed reading it - it's got that angst that bites and leaves you high and dry at the same time :)

steph

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, steph.

j.

[highonwords]

you're welcome, my friend

steph

[Bacchus]

Ok, j...
Am I the only one creeped out by this beginning...
Rural rest stops, I can't get past that they are shaddy places... I like the rest, I promise.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

interesting perspective, thank you, Bacchus...glad you liked part of it...the beginning does have meaning---not literal.

j.

[Matching Socks]

This feels sad Jacob, makes me think of a man who travels a lot, a musician maybe. Keeping his love close, missing her. It makes me think of that song that Sheryl crow did with Kidd rock. I found your picture today...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really like that song by them...and i like this version you saw...thank you, Ana...
j.

[Matching Socks]

You're welcome. Yeah, I love that song too!