under a rainbow's hand

under a rainbow's hand

 

 

orchid spring

prom with petite petunia dresses planted early

Bradford pear trees bloom in chaperon sternness 

those white coats so sterile

 

the tiger lily behaves

doesn't touch stems with other flowers

they grow weary of the dance

which ends with lush kisses

 

porchlight advances

nipped in the bud

 

those chaperons need to smile more

turn the other petal, 

and trust that the gardener's motif

will keep the roses growing safely.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/25/16

Reviews

[.]

Very well written, as always, Jacob.

This reminds me a little of Keats' Ode to Autumn, albeit this one reminisces about the Spring.
Methinks you just might be quite the gardener too, Jacob?

Lush description with a simple eloquence throughout.
Another great write.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow, Keats...such a compliment...even though he is in a different stratosphere...but thank you, Doodley..

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Always the roses. Lush with love's sentiment, inkling of scents to carry the nose to far off places, we wind down and find the petals in vase's loving hands.

You are so damn good!

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Al.

j.

[iand63]

excellent visualisations J i enjoyed this one immensely

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, ian.

j.

[James]

A row of Bradford pears in full bloom would centainly seem like a stern chaperone to alll the new buds in the fields.

I really like the ending, I see it as saying that kids will grow up just fine and we have to trust that nature hasa plan.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, James,
i like what you have said here...hopefully there is a plan.

j.

[Cryingkate]

My take on this was like a View of the Rainbow Chaperoning the Spring and Summer.
I include Summer because here the Tiger Lily is in bloom by late July and you speak of them dying as they do here in August,
The flowers in season promenading themselves
The line "those chaperons need to smile more ,turn the other petal," I had to sorta ignore because it contrasts to my connotation of the rest of the poem. in that I first saw the rainbow as the chaperone.

The line"the tiger lily behaves,doesn't touch stems with other flowers" I think that was a clever wise observant take, For your so right. they cluster at the foliage like a skirt and keep the stems from touching one another. It was fun to know the Lily so well to have understood what you were describing.

What I enjoyed the most about this poem is the lesson, I am seeing thru the readers eye, just how much location/experience can have upon the reader. I'm going to make a mental note on this. When mentioning certain flowers and their nature and when the knowledge is necessary for the writer to have the reader's understanding then I shall choose the most familiar flower. Or whatever the subject be.
But only when imperative. There are times when I don't need to have my readers understand.. sometimes I use things that talk to the unconsciousness, But I never thought about this in a backward mode. Or I'll purposely leave blanks so the reader can think what i lead them to think and they think they thought it.
Interesting... .. Sorry about being too technical here on such a pretty poem and images. But thanks for the lesson too ;-) OMG I wrote all that and lost my page because my hot spot connection died,, Somehow I retrieved it.. AMEN !

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you so much for this incredible review, Connie...appreciate all the angles you had coming to this poem.

j.

[Bacchus]

It is reminiscent... And yet it feels like your fumbling all over again over someone. Fun and akward all at the same time.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Bacchus...
j.

[1]

Your words dance on the page as innocently as those lush kisses (ha!).......................... You paint luxurious portraits.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Reflection...

j.

[highonwords]

very colorful imagery - reminds me of our junior prom in highschool, where our parents chaperoned us - and the boys were docile and tamed - girls were innocent as sunshine breath :)

steph

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, they were...and we catholic boys were careful.....for the most part.

thanks for your words....

j.

[highonwords]

you're welcome, my friend

steph

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we also spent a lot of time at Confession! :)))

[highonwords]

whew - hope the priests weren't tough on you guys :)

steph

[Lydia Shutter]

What an adorable metaphor this is for both springtime and prom time! "porchlight advances"......I remember them well. I enjoyed this one. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Lydi...

j.

[Matching Socks]

As spring blooms and the garden overcomes it's shyness they move into summer and things really heat up then. :-). This is quite lovely and I couldn't help comparing it to a new relationship slowing opening up.
Spring is a good time to let love in.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Ana...appreciate your visit...

j.