eyesore

eyesore

 

 

 

bland blots of ink stained ilk rising

spotted around third street and rhyme

a good time to pass by the house of homonyms

 

same sounds different avenue of thought

leery lines of stenciled pencil

a drawing of that house of synonyms 

 

like meanings meandering in my head

that end up on thesaurus drive

feeling my own house of antonyms 

 

boarded up with boorish boards

of boredom's wood

a house vacated

a mind exorcised of exactness

 

so the differential between inhabiting the poem

or clearing out all the rotting furniture 

and fragile, finicky failure

to refurbish my lines of siding 

 

is so indistinguishable 

everyone simply drives by

without even noticing

a word of it.

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/25/16

Reviews

[.]

This is a very interesting write, Jacob.

Illustrating, if i am correct, the occasional monotonous repetition that comes with the lot of being a poet (?)
The struggles to write our ideas and words on to the page, the lack of inspiration that very often hits us, and how when sometimes we finally get it all together, fluently on the page, it can still resemble an "eyesore", rather unremarkable in the writers eyes.
This is something we all experience. The poet is always riddled with self doubt. It is just the way we are programmed, i guess.
Brilliant use of alliteration and references to literary forms.
Sublime, as always.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

such insightful interpretation...i appreciate your words, Doodley...

j.

[...]

chuckling.......................................

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, lynn.....................

j.

[barleygirl]

Nice spoof on the literary, filled with alliteration, with a touch of assonance & plays on words by the ton. I'm catching a "ho-hum" kinda bored tone thru-out, like this process of writing is just the same-ole, same-ole, only in different forms. I do feel stuck in a rut at times, but fortunately there are many on this website to give me a kick in the butt, to shake me from my ennui.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and the same goes for me...thank you for relating to this crazy piece.

j.

[emmajoy]

' .. same sounds different avenue of thought - leery lines of stenciled pencil - a drawing of that house of synonyms .. '

Laughing at the finish, J., perhaps more so because your knowledge of language, of poetry really shines throughout.. had to pause to digest some of the magic.. or should that be 'complexity'! As often happens, you make sounds sing in the letter use, phrases curl around the pauses.. clever man, you. A fine teacher, and always so pleased to share and delight... and bemuse! Just realised that this post is like a 'pick and mix' - you can taste as you look!'

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, and the smile, emma...
j.

[Gee]

I think I need to go and get my sight checked,read the title and was all excited to see what you had done with Disney's donkey,Tigger,piglet et all.But no,not a sign,not even the merest hint,nowhere to be seen,read or heard.GUTTED !!!!!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sorry to disappoint, Gee...no disney...:)))

j.

[andrew mitchell]

More like a drive by shooting to put a few holes in your poems of brilliance j than drive by without noticing lol like that saying from the Good the bad the ugly " If you're gonna shoot, shoot. Don't talk!" An excellent write, just reeks of expertise!!:):)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your fun reply, andrew...oh yes, Tuco---taking his bath...ha ha...
and blondie saying "there are those with guns, and those who dig"

thanks...great way to wake up this morning reading this review...

j.

[highonwords]

a very intellectual write - with wit and decorum - a poet out with his pen to renovate the poem, for his readers who cares to read and spend some time with him in his 'house' - but sadly, the invitations are all turned down - the poem, simply ignored, a failure in their eyes - but not your poems at all, jacob, very far from it

regards,
steph

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, steph.

j.

[highonwords]

you're welcome, my friend :)

regards,
steph

[Fabian G. Franklin]

There was a bit of writing site humor here...on the sidebar of this poem was an ad for Grammarly which read...easily eliminate all errors from your writing...I think they're kicking at you Jacob...but I always enjoy your metaphors.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that's too funny...but i am used to being involved in those coincidences.,like i live in the twilight zone or something....thank you for the kind words.

j.