still water (35 years later)

still water (35 years later)

 

 

 

the blue eyes deep and dark

now stone cold

like the blue diamond in her ring

and the blue marks on her neck

 

strands of hair in a trunk

her beautiful features lie in state

as he marks his territory

in a prison cell 

just as his heart gives out

 

and her spirit smiles

from a bar stool in heaven

 

and her mother cuddles 

with an angora sweater

 

they found on the bank

that night

lying next to the weeping willow.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/25/16

Reviews

[iand63]

pogniant, i feel there may be more to this than meer artistic endeavour.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, much more...very perceptive, my friend...

j.

[Carolynn]

This is so powerful and heart wrenching Jacob - I would have to convince myself she was being comforted in heaven and that judgement would be harsh for the one who died in prison for his horrendous crime! This must be a very painful memory for you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it's difficult for several reasons...and i thank you for your kind words, Carolynn...

j.

[Érenn]

Sometimes I choose the worst times to read a few poetry..... I was thinking of someone from the past who metaphorically died for me( just a few moments ago).... And then I come across something very harsh and quite certain this is no tale but a reality dark deep and brutal that you have experienced here. You rarely write dark ones (Or maybe I have not come across many of them) But I know well enough that this case of darkness is very real expressing how the one who murdered a girl has now died in prison and yet the mother of the girl still cries after the loss. Still so many questions left unanswered though... Was justice really served has the girl been freed and is now smiling and living well in the after-life? Is there really an after-life in itself. After all what we are unable to see with our own two eyes is not usually believed so blindly.... Pretty sure one day though all the answers will be revealed......

Again your words paint images and the flow here gives quite the chills... Thank you for sharing one of your dark moments of life which might still be ongoing for you....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights on this piece, Errenn...unfortunately yes, all too real this was...and hopefully she is smiling in the afterlife...feeling justice was finally achieved.

j.

[Neville]

What an emotive, dark, sad and otherwise tragic tale you have created here. It made me shiver. It could be real for all I know, I would not be surprised. Despite the chill, I am glad that I stumbled across this....N

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, very real....thank you for your words, Neville...

j.

[barleygirl]

Very intensely-told poignant tale of sad affairs & those hurting. Your details are well-chosen for gentle impact, not morbid, but hauntingly vivid. The angora sweater scene is especially well crafted to show, instead of telling . . . & it speaks volumes. This is one of your best that I've read.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, barleygirl---

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Tragic tale told in the seriousness of beauty.

Regards,

Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Al...the memories still haunt.

j.

[Nisreen]

So very well written
i totally empathize with any woman dealing wit any form of cruelty
She lives a victim
and what kind of life is that .............

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, RiverSided,
j.

[Fran Marie]

Such a sad piece..
hope her spirit truly is smiling down..

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your thoughts, Fran Marie.
j.

[Circe]

So tragic the crime you portray... there is nothing that can bring back the life of the victim which is the most painful thing.. and often there is no justice as the murderers get away with the crime or only get a sentence of 6-10 years.. some of the big profile cases have been violence against women, it happens way too often. This poem is sad.. chilling solemn.. it does its job!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Circe.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

What a sad story you paint here. The mother, mourning her daughter's death all those years later and the man who killed her finally dies in prison. Does the victim smile down from heaven? Is there a heaven? So many questions come to mind.....but no questions about the grief. Powerful poetry, Jacob. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, we were left with so many questions---

it was tragic, he killed at least two others...

thank you, Lydi...

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Oh my...is this a personal story? I did not realize that. That makes it even more intense. How awful!