a doubting Thomas

a doubting Thomas

 

 

 

granite stones roll through my veins

screaming silences whisper regrets

into the ear of my heart

i turn the other chamber,

but cheeky swelling

becomes water on the brain,

i'm thinking in cold rock

a snow covered song of you

 

and the frostbitten sounds

cause amputation of any feelings i had left

 

from when our music ended

and the stones came to an abrupt stop

against the tomb of my longing.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/19/16

Reviews

[Cryingkate]

Wow.. The magic is still here.....
When you called the specific stone by name " Granite" I questioned if you understood granite's abilities. Then other things also akinned ....

Here's my take... Doubting Thomas ... a representative figure of Low Faith in a Religious order
Granite= used as an Electrical conduit... The theory of the pyramids and stone structures used in ancient sites were to have purposely used Granite for it electrical conductive abilities.( in comparison The energy parallels with the energy of Love}
The pyramids are being studied as not being burying tombs, but as Electrical devices and Harmonic healing. besides the Temples. (The Luxor temples are equated with our physical bodies.)
The mention of Tombs and Music and Religion point me in the direction of Ancient Egypt's Mystery Religion and knowledge of the Pyramids actual purpose.
I am short of time and so I'll try to wrap up my thoughts in a concise manner.
So I see a comparison of a person and the Structures as Something no longer believed in and abandoned.
Left set out in harsh reality or environment, subject to harshness. Note the uncanny thought that Religion speaks of our bodies as being Temples.
Unless someone has studied this as I have extensively (thou I'm still an amateur) one may not see what I see in this comparison. I have a hunch you didn't think of the Pyramids when you wrote this and so I thought you'd enjoy to see how I saw it. I hope I communicated this well enough to share what I saw.
i know we often write from states of consciousness that our daily mind cannot fathom or has no knowledge of. The Hidden layers....or "Akashic Records"
Later Friend.. have a great day.... ps you spoke also of the white snow covered.. well the great pyramid was covered with white Limestone . You also spoke of the chamber......coincident ? :-) i think not.... but Akaschic :-) http://www.edgarcayce.org/are/spiritualGrowth.aspx?id=2078

[jacob erin-cilberto]

very interesting and enlightening what you saw here....much deeper than the poem itself, for sure.read morevery interesting and enlightening what you saw here....much deeper than the poem itself, for sure.

j.

[Nisreen]

I guess doubt can kill so much
and Thomas has allowed that to happen
like opening a freezer door and leaving it open
killing everything in sight
and removing the sense of life out of anything living

i love it

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, RiverSided...
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Even when we THINK we have turned off feelings for a person, some remain. There is always that shred of hope...or doubt. There is still that tiny bit of longing. There comes a time, though, when it is silly to continue dancing after the music stops. I liked, "snow covered song of you". As always, great metaphor. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Lydi...
j.

[redzone]

oh Jacob, I told you never to look Medusa in the eyes... sigh,

icy images meets "screaming silences" can only lead to a grave yard of broken hearts.. I would say RIP Jacob, but there is no peace in a "cold rock song" not even "white noise"awakens such a heart..

Jacob, your heart maybe stone cold, which I seriously doubt, since your poetry rocks!!

redzone

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Curt...

j.

[Bacchus]

Great lines-
becomes water on the brain
and
a snow covered song of you
... and when the stones stop in the veins, so does the heart.
Wrestling with turning the other cheek of the heart.
Such good imagery here!

I don't like how it ends with... of my longing- but maybe the ending should be uncomfortable.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

incapable of longing...that ability has died...and yes, uncomfortable feeling is good...

read moreincapable of longing...that ability has died...and yes, uncomfortable feeling is good...

thank you for your words, Bacchus....

j.

[highonwords]

the struggle to keep up with loving feelings for the beloved becomes an impossible task, until love loses its hold on the lover - the lover no longer feels the same for the beloved - love has ran its course

great writing, jacob :)

regards,
steph

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, steph.

j.

[highonwords]

you're welcome, jacob :)

steph