revised script, same cancellation of series

revised script, same cancellation of series

 

 

 

in retroactive regard

my eyes instant replay

my heart gets stuck in freeze frame

 

the city heat,

the organ's warm beat

sidewalk satellite sojourns

 

to your winsome window,

sees you crying on cathartic avenues

of memory 

 

i can hear the music

tapping your pane

your face streaked with rain

 

i want to ensure you

the past won;t be a repeat

but you've seen the show too many times

 

and presume

i am for you

just more broken shards

 

to cut deeply

down to the chipped antenna bone 

of your already shattered trust

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/18/16

Reviews

[Érenn]

Wow this one had loads of alliterations to begin the poem and then by the end it was that punch to the gut with those last two verses. Nice imagery painted here and without doubt this one had many things that I absolutely loved for what they symbolized. The same charade happens again and again even then one still is not able to find the answer to that. Or might I say the past's grasp over the present is never broken and that ends up repeating like a cycle. Thank you for sharing ^^

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Errenn...

j.

[Janice Ann]

Firstly, I wanted to thank you for taking the time to ready some of my stuff. This is beautifully broken. We tend to not want to risk getting hurt again, this has put in new imagery in my head of a heart break.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Janice Ann...

j.

[Dhaye]

When the heart was broken too many times, it is very difficult for a person to trust again. Likewise, someone who will fall for this person will find it hard to propose his/her feelings. Yes it is like "the show has been viewed so many times" and interest might be lost....because of fear to see the same story.

So sad but true.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Dhaye.

j.

[wolfshrew]

It ends like a punch to the gut, from the familiarity of your words.
Trying to piece together those shards is a long process that I think many people
don't take the patience for.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your review, wolfshrew...

j.

[Adam Adams]

Not a bad shot. Love's a real s**t... & that's the reason
past got nothing on present but still it's nakedly hooked up
with its longed nights. Broken faith. Melancholy heartaches.
Ached spirt with vulnerable body... being shattered in the..
bed of memories but nothing got live on this s**t as long as
trust is misplaced or misused by... the orgasm of lies. Interesting write! Been a long time to read ur work. Glad to get back to ur #SCRIPTS.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful review, Vortex...

j.

[gabrielle]

Gaining the the trust of a woman with trust issues could be truly difficult as she has the tendency to treat any person who will show interest a potential suspect who may cause her heartbreak..

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, gabrielle,

j.

[highonwords]

in hindsight, the heart always gets stuck on the painful details of a lost love, a heartbreak, the pain cuts too deeply - we cry over these memories, however much you reassure a beloved to give love one more chance - the past haunts and lingers on the frame like a ghost that is always there - great writing, jacob :)

steph

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, steph...

j.

[highonwords]

you're welcome, jacob :)

steph

[1]

This piece hit me deeply, personally as I had to earn my wife's trust back some 10 years ago or so. Some believe once trust is broken, even once, it can not be restored............ I beg to differ. I appreciate how your words dance page to page with every piece.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Reflection...and i am glad your situation was not the norm...great to see trust can be regained.

j.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

A hesitant heart is often willing to try again. Inevitably, there can be no repair; and the finale is at hand. It's much easier when those involved realize when the final curtain has dropped. At that point, it's best to just walk away, no matter the pain, because it's never going to get better. This one hurts.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Linda Marie.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Once trust has been shattered, the pieces can never be put together again. Truth is, history does repeat itself and one roller coaster ride through the Twilight Zone is quite enough. Great metaphor. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your really kind review, Lydi...

j.