family man

family man

 

 

 

spit shine blues

ragtime music,

smiling hands move so fast

 

reflection of a toothless singer

humming happy honing

 

sharp azure demeanor

under the grin, chagrin

a dime a shoe

no dinner for you---

 

feeds his family on a shine

and a dulled disposition starving

for respect,

black polish profanity

whispers to himself

 

but he smiles nonetheless

at least if he keeps busy enough

he'll forget how his heart is starving

 

and he won't have time for his tears.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/16/16

Reviews

[highonwords]

a very touching piece on a responsible father, devoted to his family - keeping busy on a daily basis - doing his best to be inspired in his 'dime a shoe' work - a sad write

steph

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, steph...

j.

[highonwords]

jacob - this sounds like a sociopolitical poem with a romantic overtone - a great write from you
read morejacob - this sounds like a sociopolitical poem with a romantic overtone - a great write from you

steph

[1]

Great story of vivid pain suffered through a relentless ability to smile through it all! Powerful............

Thank You!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Reflection...

j.

[Érenn]

Well this felt different for me. I guess it made me tear up a little. Maybe because I have seen it with my very own eyes how someone like this had to go through.

Now talking about the poem itself love the structure and breaks as it provides a certain flow needed on the poem. I like the alliterations you have thrown here occasionally, it does a good job invoking imagery as well.

The last two verses are the soul of this write and the reason why I felt added dimensions to the write. That even in the tough times one tries to stay positive. Even if it hurts from the inside, one just tries to keep himself as busy as possible so that he never has time to think about his sad life. The main aim being he's trying his hardest to keep his family happy and not let them go through starvation even if it means sacrificing his own.

Now this might just be me, but I felt just a little personal touch here. But then again it's just a feeling. Thank you for sharing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind and insightful review, Errenn.

j.

[Nisreen]

I say that applies to a family woman too
its often those people that sacrifice it all
receive nothing
and seldom does anyone notice their existence to start with

i really connected with this write

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, it applies to both males and females, for sure.

thank you for your words, RiverSided.

j.

[Carolynn]

People don't take the time for people like this, they see only the image that sits there shining their shoes, a toothless peasant. Yet even though he knows they don't "see" him he looks to the bright side, keeps on humming and forging on...people who can stay positive during such difficult times are truly blessed (I think)
The old ragtime singer who sings no more... I really enjoyed this on Jacob!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, staying positive is a must ....because otherwise...well, don't want to think where that would go...

thank you for your words...

j.