Vacant Lots and Static Shock

Vacant Lots and Static Shock

 

 

i live on a balloon farm

blowing up real estate extensions

of a condemned demeanor

 

i tie up loose ends 

but they become looser

before they pop

or fly,

 

or my eye in the sky of you

searches a new home,

the sign in your yard says "keep out"

 

i can't even rent one favorable memory

the house of hearts is too small 

and yet, there is plenty of room

still left for you,

 

but you are the pin that pricks the residue

from the me that was you

and flew high above in colorful array

 

after the falling apart

my walls wilt

and i can't even give away what's left.

 

time to blow me up and pop

before you rub your irritating ego

against me one more time.

 

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/10/16

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

"from the me that was you"....what a great line! We are different people depending upon the people we are with...and some people make me into a person I don't want to be. Best to avoid those people and their overblown egos....or else stick a pin in them and watch them fly away! Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Lydi...

j.

[barleygirl]

I'm pretty sure I'm not following every nuance of your thread, thru-out, but I really enjoy the parts I'm understanding & relating to. I love the metaphor of blowing up old inhabitable haunts, as a comparison to some kinds of love . . . the kind where you walk right by the "keep out" sign & head straight for the danger zone. The finale seems to be a leap into a more direct, prose-like statement: "before you rub your irritating ego against me one more time" . . . I like that.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, barleygirl...i appreciate your visits very much...and your honesty on what doesn't quite hit you right...
j.

[Lyn Anderson]

The end is very satisfying -- like popping a balloon.:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, KL...

j.

[andrew mitchell]

the love goes up with a pop but the residue remains( our memories) Nice inspirational work Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, andrew.

j.

[Nisreen]

i guess when someone moves out of the home in your heart
seems like everyone knows but you

something about this tender soul
carrying the essence of loyalty

refusing to be angry
or throw anything out

we remain faithful
in an empty house

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, and i wonder why that is...we just can't let go of the memories...takes time...

thank you for your insightful words,

j.

[Nisreen]

it doesnt happen with everyone
only a few
are really that loyal

its really beautiful

[redzone]

whoa, that's "thought energy" gone wild, or should I say, goes POP!! I always thought real estate was full of hot air.. sorry you got left in that "vacant lot" Jacob.. be careful Jacob cause "static" clings and if egos clash, then you both will be stuck with each other and well that is a crumbling building for sure... POP goes the "American Dream"..

thanks for the second cup of poetry Jacob

redzone

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for the smile, Curt...

j.

[highonwords]

an encounter/relationship that's gone difficult for both parties, because one is too proud, and the other, is kind and considerate and forgiving - there is a clash of egos

steph

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you...i appreciate your words on this crazy piece. this was going to be a throwaway...and a couple of my office mates convinced me to keep it.

j.

[highonwords]

i'm glad you listened to them, j

steph