insensitive breeze

 insensitive breeze

 

 

 

 

into a head wind

then into a head spin

love, the ultimate gale

confronts,

and we, like desperate leaves

in an autumn flurry,

 

try to grasp meaning

before the tree lets go of us

 

 

 

 

and the wind wins

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/7/16

Reviews

[Bacchus]

Captured for sure a feeling I've felt. Never once had my brain thought of it this way. Beautiful. Thank you. One of my favorite pieces so far.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Bacchus

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Wonderful! Indeed, the winds of love sweep us off our feet and there is no much we can do to keep our feet on the ground. One of your best metaphors! Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Lydi...

j.

[Carolynn]

This left me grasping for the branch - don't let me fall..... fantastic analogy of how fragile love can be - and that darn wind!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Carolynn...
j.

[A hare off]

Really nice thoughts in this one. I like the picture you have created and the idea of us hanging on hoping we get to experience this feeling before we are whisked away and forgotten.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, A hare.

j.

[mou]

You flaunt an excellent beauty of daily seen nature and how it sooth up our mind and feelings.I love it..Thanks for sharing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, mou,

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

The last two lines are very powerful -- love as a force of nature -- very strong and simple this poem is.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, KL

j.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

When I was young, I wondered why love was so hard,...why it had to hurt so much.....why it left at times. As I matured I realized how much work it took, how many details of it were lessons, , How it had persistent ebb and flow. Now in my prime, I realize that it isn't so hard...it doesn't have to hurt....and those details are necessary to make it everlasting. Though some days it still starves me and others it stuffs me..... I cannot survive without it. I love that about your poetry, you know? It has this push and pull about it that keeps me wanting... has me knowing that I'll be back for more☺

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really appreciate your kind words and sharing your feelings about love...
thank you, Queenie.

j.

[barleygirl]

I'm noticing quite a bit of "wind" wafting thru your poem ideas! I'm also a person who gets a big message from the feel of the wind. You've managed to build a palpable analogy between love & wind, using so few words. Some great writer (Hemingway?) once said: "sorry I wrote so much, I didn't have time to make this shorter." In other words, it's challenging to pack so much into so few words, which you do well & often.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i love Hemingway...my favorite...ah yes, "less is more"--and i really appreciate your kind review, and also the reminder ( i need to be careful of using the "wind" too often in my writes---well they just kind of come to me...but i will have to pay attention to that..don't want to have "wind" overstay its welcome.

thanks so much barleygirl for the helpful words.

j.

[barleygirl]

Maybe you should embrace your love of the wind & write a poem that personifies all the different kinds of wind & the relationship you have with each! *smile*

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i guess those breezes are just really speaking to me lately, for various reasons...:)))

[Érenn]

I wonder if the wind picks up enough speed to become a tornado, that rampages in the city known as he heart. Leaving everything in tatters, waiting for reconstruction by mutual alliance between two hearts, thus love leaving us with help in the end after creating all the helplessness and and falling head over heels for each other. Love the metaphors used head wind and head spin. ^^ Loved it ^^

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think it often does, Errenn...it often does, yes.

thank you for your words,
j.

[highonwords]

the helplessness about the way we fall in love with others - the head wind and then the head spin - great lines :)

steph

[jacob erin-cilberto]

appreciate your kind words, Steph...

j.