mountain tones

mountain tones

 

 

i hope he can hear

wind chimes play on silver breeze

the song of his heart

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/6/16

Reviews

[.]

A lovely senryu, Jacob.

The wind chime.....such a beautiful sound. Especially in those very quiet moments of solitude and thought. The poets favourite place.

Short and delicate. Nicely done.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, "even in the quietest moments"

thank you for your kind words, Doodley.
read moreyes, "even in the quietest moments"

thank you for your kind words, Doodley.

j.

[KeeD]

Echos of love emittied thorugh this piece, a rememberance of someone great. I like how you can express so much feeling through just three sentences. Great job my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Keegan.

j.

[barleygirl]

I had to peek at the reviews below to find this may be written for a departed beloved, which makes your poem all the more beautiful & touching. However, this well-crafted haiku/senryu could be speaking of anyone we are away from. I love the "wind chimes" reference, as it brings up such tinkling melancholy, & also the breeze helps us "feel" our angels a bit more some days. Thanks for sharing!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and thank you for sharing your insightful thoughts on it...barelygirl...really appreciate your visits---and you kind words..

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

it is difficult to lose someone we love, and we wish and hope that there is something good after ...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we do wish and hope....thank you for your words, K.L.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

I think this might be about your Dad.....we want them to enjoy life till the last breath, but it is not possible for us to make that happen. How lovely the thought here is. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

no it's not...but i wish for him to be as at much peace as possible...yes....

thank you, Lydi....

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Whoops. Sorry for assuming.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh no...i was answering what you said about it not being possible for us to make it happen...not on it being about dad....yes...he is the centerpiece.

[Lydia Shutter]

:) I thought so!

[JayceeC]

I think of my mother every time I hear wind chimes. She loved the ones that are keyed, but then she could just sit and listen to the birds in the morning. Her own brand of music and hopefully his too.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that is a good brand of music..i used to love to listen to the birds in Vermont...when i was a kid..especially the Bob Whites..

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

The winds blow and the mountains howl.....I sit on the porch in my rocking chair...enjoying the breeze and listen to his poetry.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Queenie...

j.

[...]

I hope he can too, Jacob...

This is very beautiful!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, lynn...

j.

[Carolynn]

I love being surrounded by the mountains - I'm very close to the Canadian Rickies which are gorgeous and we get blessed with the warm Chinook breeze from them all the time (during the winter months) - this was a wonderful Senryu Jacob :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it sounds beautiful where you are...thank you for your kind words, Carolynn...

j.

[Corset]

beautiful senryu Jacob, I especially enjoy your more tender renderings.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Corset...

j.