deposits and withdrawals

deposits and withdrawals

 

 

 

i spent years of dwindling funds over you

bankrupt intercession,

the between moments of relationship's scattered reference

 

now my perusal is a cleaned out account

insufficient regrets, maybe

closed suffering,

 

i took out a loan of sentiment

to assuage the overspending

but now sit on a street corner with pen in hand

 

asking for donations,

so that i could reconstruct the life

that was invalidated by one deconstructionist

 

who burned through hearts

like they grew on trees.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

2/27/16

Reviews

[Ruth]

Hits to the core...damn...you voice the tenderness of life's hurts so poignantly that no review could do such wordcrafting justice...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Poppy...
j.

[ms. barrie]

felt this one down to the marrow of my bones...very compelling imagery, and i agree with Norman:
your ink drops are always "soul-searching" --- and your gift with words, leaves an indelible impression on reader's heart [we can in our own way, relate to.] thank you for sharing your poetic gift
with us all.

~ xx. - barrie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, barrie...

j.

[ms. barrie]

you're very welcome (:

[Michael Oliver]

Good example of how to write with a thematic poetcic 'conceit'
A quiet master class

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for those words, Michael...

j.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I'm outta paper, the ink well went dry, I don't even have a quater....I'm glad at least your still here!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Queenie...i'll lend you a few quarters---i have to break the bank...

j.

[Carolynn]

Ouch! This one is scorching hot and left me emotionally bankrupt. It's too bad we let another person put us through such intense emotions, then draining us of all emotions until it feels like there is nothing left. That's when it's time to take the piggy bank out of the attic, dust it off and start collecting some coins...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and yes...we let it happen, unintentionally...but it happens...thank you, Carolynn....

j.

[AYVID N]

Reckless spending and careless investments lead to penury. Yet we are seldom cautious when it comes to love. The poem ends with amazing lines. Much appreciated Jacob...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, DIVYA...
j.

[Norman 223]

An interesting analogy of a wealth of emotion being spent , but without any interest being gained from the investment. A clever and revealing piece of writing, Jacob, in your usual soul searching style.

Norman

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Norman.
j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Banking and love, now there's a shaky foundation. I could offer congradulations and sunglasses, perhaps an umbrella for the rain.

Hopefully your next lover will own a bank or two.

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

or maybe three....thank you for the smile, Al.

j.

[Abhilash Hegde]

The title drew me to this write.
If I may say, I thoroughly got engrossed reading this one.
Write straight from the heart..

These ending lines:
"who burned through hearts
like they grew on trees."

Fab! what expression!
Thanks Jacob, for sharing this write.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Abhilash...

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Relationships come back to haunt us and we wonder what we did wrong...when sometimes the answer is "nothing at all." There are those not meant to be in a relationship and those unlucky enough to try to have one with such a person end up being scarred for life. Great metaphor. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Lydi...

j.