A wonderful analogy again. A thought, and if you don't like it, feel free to ignore it, the refuse lines belong with the bulldozer stanza and the memories line fits with ceases to exist. I respect your work so much, and it is not a correction, but a suggestion.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
i appreciate the suggestion...and will give it some thought...appreciate your honest critique... read morei appreciate the suggestion...and will give it some thought...appreciate your honest critique...
j.
To me the last stanza just didn't fit... don't know why or what I missed, it just didn't. You had me tied until then.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
last refuse left of the heart....but hey, poems and lines work sometimes with some readers and not w.. read morelast refuse left of the heart....but hey, poems and lines work sometimes with some readers and not with others...i appreciate your honest words, Chris.
j.
8 Years Ago
I DID "get" that part and appreciated the word - it was the last two lines that threw it sideways..... read moreI DID "get" that part and appreciated the word - it was the last two lines that threw it sideways... landfills don't refuse refuse...they compost and compact, churn and bury til the content IS content. Once filled they begin anew with the next bout of sun"dries"...
8 Years Ago
ordinarily yes, just playing with words here....but i can see where it threw ya, my friend.
<.. read moreordinarily yes, just playing with words here....but i can see where it threw ya, my friend.
You've a great mind and ready wit... and I really appreciate you being a friend. I may tease you bu.. read moreYou've a great mind and ready wit... and I really appreciate you being a friend. I may tease you but I'll NEVER deride you OR take you for granted Jacob. I'll be a foil if you need one but you haven't so far.
8 Years Ago
i think we all need foils...and Chris...you keep me on my poetic toes. thanks for that.
Brownfields are, by their very nature, rich sources for poetry, but few dig so carefully. The combination of restrained tone and deft wordplay are combined to make the piece pitch-perfect. Virtuoso stuff, even by your standards.
I think this is probably the most descriptive piece from your pen that I have read. The images are poignantly graphic, yet beautifully poetic (I could also add "romantic").
I loved it.
N.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
wow, really appreciate your very kind review, Norman.
The refuse refused, sublime writing Jacob. Your words have the power to portray the crushing and destructive powers that capture our hearts, only to leave that heart more battered and bruised every time, yet it still beats.
oh my! I agree: this is just amazing...you have such an incredible
gift for words that it's astounding! your pen spills such a pathos
of the heart's psyche that it can't help but leave an indelible
mark on the reader's imagination. favs and 100/100
This is so sad and touching. The fate of love is sometimes so wretched and the end so undignified. That's why I sometimes wonder if it's better not to have loved at all. My heartfelt compliments on this powerfully worded poem Jacob.
Recently read a poem on Hello Poetry but the author is missing now, all I know is that it was author known as
DARK
it was called
"Which way to go"
They say
"Follow your heart."
But if your heart is
In a million pieces
Which piece do you follow?
it so fits with this, Jacob, love is never refuse, I like to think of it as Time capsules :) Remember those? You plant them and ions later someone finds it, digs it up and says oh wow, look mom a time capsule, someone loved someone back in 2016 and here is a poem about it. Kinda like reading Keats
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
thank you for that Keats' compliment, Corset....really appreciate your words....
Originally from Bronx, NY, I live in Carbondale, Illinois...teach English at a community college and have been writing and publishing poetry since 1970. I am here to read for inspiration from other po.. more..