Mid-Wives love the Jackals

Mid-Wives love the Jackals

 

 

 

i live Valium blues

within congested walls of anxiety

contemplating the next pill, the next fix

the regiment to keep me sane

 

but syllable logic writes itself

on the therapist's pad, 

graffiti etched in graphic sin

 

black markings that turn the jazzy memory

into deep purple placenta

as my misery hangs on hard

in its womb, loving the dark glue of super madness

 

floating in expectations of the worst

a baptism awaits with conjugal intention

the birthing of another child of pain

 

another bout of craziness we want stillborn

but the body slowly rises out of the abyss

and there is form and mass

and crass insensitivity

 

and a Gershwin rise

of the same old colors

and i dye

in blue,

glad to have finally entered

that symphony of 

insanity

with all my notes cleverly concealed

in the pocket no one can see.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

2/19/16

Reviews

[AYVID N]

Your words draw me in to my own vicious circle of pain. So rightly expressed...there is no end to the pain and the blue babies keep coming and coming. The valium then is just a very temporary reprieve. Yet still so needed. Your thoughts and words are much appreciated Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing how you relate, DIVYA...yes, we are not alone---and so many of us who write really share something that others at times cannot fully understand.

j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Great title!
Abusing certain "legal" drugs, apparently, represents a common form of not-all-that-gradual suicide. Sometimes, even the faithful following of a prescribed regimen, ends very badly.
Still, depression can be a deadly affliction; some type of chemical help is often needed.
As for "that symphony of insanity," I've had to manage with the "Me, Myself and I Trio."
We've been playin' crazy, for years!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

your words are so true, Jimmy---so true...thank you!

j.

[B]

I love the use of color here with this moment of insanity
Something so novel about the way you put it together
like its an experience of itself

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really appreciate your review, Nisreen...wasn't sure how this poem would be received...thought it might be too dark, or offend...thank you,

j.

[softlyfall]

This should be a Leonard Cohen song, frankly. That was meant as the highest tribute, as I idolize him. It has such teeth and such an appetite for joy destruction, kind of left me feeling sadness surfeited until it hit me, what a power your gift has.
I have great admiration for that.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I took that as a compliment and really appreciate it, softlyfall...i appreciate your words very much.
I thought this piece might be too dark.
j.

[Norman 223]

The constant fight to control depression with mind altering drugs is very often the cause of even greater problems. Or , as you say in your bleak poem...".the birthing of another child of pain."
Depressingly expressive writing, but sadly only too real.

Norman

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Norman...

and yes, those drugs can cause even greater problems...for sure.

j.

[W.k.kortas]

The beginning line strikes me as almost Langston Hughes-esque, and the remainder is, as a prior reviewer noted, exceptionally visceral, but not at the expense of the writing. Awfully fine stuff.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really appreciate what you said, W.k....i love Langston Hughes and i teach him in my lit classes....so thank you for that reference.

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

about as visceral as one can get without digestive disgust ... i think it is allowing the light to shine on that one secret pocket we hold so dear is the most extreme courageous act a pilgrim of the inner self can make ..and the risk of madness certainly a very real occurrence ... i feel a bit unsettled in the reading ..going to have to read some sunshine before i sign off this morning .. visceral sir! visceral indeed!
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sorry for the darkness, E....was a bit afraid this might be too dark and unsettling...
thank you for the read and your insights....

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

incredible, emotive write .. a keeper for sure!

[Peter]

A colorful metaphorical way of expressing ones struggle with insanity or sanity, you choose. Excellently done.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Peter.]
j.

[JayceeC]

Only going to comment on the Rhapsody in Blue reference which is one of my favorite neo classical pieces of music. It is a piece of madness which is in itself, brilliant. The overlay of sound and thought born out of a mind that is definitely not the norm.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Jan...:)))

[J Manuel]

Greetings from the Bronx,
As I read the words “Valium blues”, it reminded me of its side effects, and how at one time in my life I administered this benzodiazepine when I was a paramedic many moons ago. “Congested walls of anxiety” perfectly illustrates the struggles of walking that tight rope in balancing neurosis and sanity and being compliant with its daily dose in order not to fall off into the depth of madness. As your work transition into the anatomy of the female and the human psyche, I couldn’t help but be touch by the analogy of the “purple placenta” representing the exiting of a hypoxic life that was asphyxiated by madness passed down from genetic traits. If I go any further, you would have before you at least another three paragraphs, therefore I will halt for now and just say, what an excellent piece.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your in-depth and insightful review, J. i appreciate your words very much.
read morethank you for your in-depth and insightful review, J. i appreciate your words very much.

and you are from the Bronx also?

j

[J Manuel]

Lived in the Bronx from age 6 to 8, relocated to Brooklyn until age 9 when I came back to the Bronx at 9 and have been here ever since. I'm 46 now and pretty sure we could probably share stories and the many landmarks that don't exist any more.

On your masterpiece, your most welcome