petrified rain

petrified rain

 

 

 

drift would

can't get passed, damned up tears

 

voluptuously volcanic eruption

of words,

 

stymied

with incestuous influence

 

they are too close to me

to touch,

 

the keys

stand naked before me

almost begging

 

but i have to move past the emotions

with only slightest sigh

 

leaving the urge

unsatisfied.

 

 

erin-cilberto

2/13/16

Reviews

[Bacchus]

This sucks- and you need to burst.
Maybe it needs to build up just a tiny bit more- and the keys will beat again.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Bacchus...:)))

[.]

The poet's great enemy. The unwritten word. We all suffer from writer's block at some point.

Another interesting piece of writing, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Doodley.

j.

[Tomás Ó C..]

Writers block expressed well!!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind comment, Tomas.
j.

[alifeacoustic]

Some emotions seem to cause the mind cramps that cause us too much pain to write about, leaving them unreleased and just waiting for their time to rear up again and choke us once more.
Superbly captured emotions at their rawest Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful review, alife. i always appreciate your words...

j.

[Scrap]

Why wasnt this categorized as 'mature'???!!!! *giggles*
Or am i the only one 'seeing' things?

Clever write!;)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for the review, and the smile, Scrap.

j.

[Corset]

when your keyboard is your lover she often leaves you staring with a sigh, when it won't flow and gets jumbled up or can appear too "nakked" , some muses look better with clothes on.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sometimes they do don't they!!???
thank you for your words, Corset.

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

It's the 12 MN to 3 am shift on the bunker line in Vietnam. The lightening hits the gas canister on top of the bunker. I smell gas, think Charlie's coming. I'm petrified but tell myself to move. I wake the other guys, we all shift into hyper alertness. That was one scary moment on guard duty.

Your poem reminded me of that moment. I hope you thaw Jacob!

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow, that is definitely a scary moment...thanks for sharing that, Al...

j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Trying to conceptualize "petrified rain." Is it tiny clear-crystal rocks or extremely frightened water droplets?
"Drift would" ain't easy, either; best I can do is general indecisiveness.
"Naked keys"--or fully dressed keys, for that matter--will, I fear, forever remain a mystery to this ole boy.
Enjoyed the read, Jacob E!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for the smile, Jimmy...the keys and how my thoughts get to them...always have been a major mystery to me too...i just drift, i guess.

j.

[andrew mitchell]

I have to agree with wise Lydia on this one. For many a bad poem of mine has splashed the page maybe I should have not done so but so be it, creative bad poetry!! I'm an amatuer !! lol Another sharp write J

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you're too funny, thank you for your words, andrew...you are not amateur, that is for sure.

j.

[andrew mitchell]

too kind J a novice then!! I'm five days from a year on WC pretty much where my writing all started! lol

[Lydia Shutter]

WOW.....loved the wordplay here....the keys do taunt us at times and tempt us to say the things best left unsaid. Would it be satisfying to splash it all on the naked page? It would seem so, but after doing so, I can tell you it is not a good idea. Once written, the words can not be taken back. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, lydi...yes, sometimes not a good idea.

j.