no cream or sugar, please

no cream or sugar, please

 

 

spread as thin as a light jam

on toasted thoughts,

the words swirl like slippery butter

but don't stick, 

 

the sliding pendulum of creativity

eats breakfast elsewhere,

so i just smoke my cigarette

down to the last gasp of ash

 

and put out the stub of a poem

that almost found its way,

further than the ashtray

of my exhaled etymology

containing roots of inspiration

 

which led me to believe

i was more than a shallow cup of coffee,

without the diffusion of theme

to lighten my black mood.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

2/5/16

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Remarkable flow of seemingly disparate analogies & personification, all melded together to create a tumble of early morning writer's sentiments! As always, enjoy your alliteration & assonance. The jam & butter analogies were my favorites . . . plus the tie-in between first line & last few.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, barleygirl...

j.

[Bacchus]

Love the lines- "the sliding pendulum of creativity
eats breakfast elsewhere,"

I'm trying to be disciplined when my breakfast date doesn't show
without adding cream and sugar.

Great work-
(from what i've read of yours she seems to be making face enough.)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words---being disciplined when it comes to love....not easy.

appreciate your visit...

j.

[Bacchus]

Just personifying creativity. :)

[iand63]

The one that got away, the foundation for fishermen and poets alike. Time to re bait the hook and cast again in hope of reeling in the words to fill the larder of creativity. Interesting poem J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, ian.

j.

[David Scott]

I prefer it black... Coffee that is, and my moods when need be. However, I can enjoy the delight of a cream and sugar from time to time as well... Just not first thing in the morning. Ha.
I sooooo get this. Beyond the scope of coffee and morning foggy head...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for relating to this, my friend.
j.

[WittyWonka]

Great play on words here. I think our words need that diffusion of theme to take the edge of that darkness.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Witty.

j.

[WittyWonka]

You're welcome, Jacob

[θεά]

Excellent, excellent this is Jacob. I really liked the deft use of metaphors. I read it thrice just to make sure I wasn't getting ahead of myself in its interpretation. Arguably, my favorite from your collection of poems.
Thanks for sharing,
Best,
M.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Mallika...appreciate your visits.

j.

[Scrap]

Such a clever write! I pictured everything written; the setting, the expression....i could even smell the cigarette mixed with coffee breath.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Scrap.

j.

[Norman 223]

The elusive Muse playing its tricks again , perhaps in content, but not in the creative metaphors that you employ. Is the black coffe analogy representative of your black mood. :-).

N.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Norman...i guess no cream and sugar in our poems makes for the dark drink of words...actually my mood is pretty steady---i enjoy life...and appreciate the gift of being able to write at all..
appreciate your visit my friend.

j.

[Willard Wells]

Great analogies in this work and very well done. I saw myself starting a write and finding emptiness as I have another cup of JOE. I really liked the "more than a shallow cup of coffee". Perfect. Thank you for sharing such excellent work.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Willard...

j.

[Firebird]

You'll always be much more than a shallow cup of coffee!! I liked this poem j

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Firebird,
j.

[Firebird]

You're welcome. I hope you are peaceful and well.