a rhyming party of one

a rhyming party of one

 

 

i'm no patsy,

no fool

i won't drool

over you

 

i'll blink once as you pass by

and not look you eye to eye

 

my heart couldn't stand it

if rendered  helpless again

too many bruises

from way back when

 

and then,

and now

i won't allow

 

it to be torn in two

by anyone else, 

but especially you

 

i'm no patsy

no fool

no longer prone

 

but i have to admit i ponder

why i'm up here on this hill

 

alone.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/31/16

Reviews

[Zugzwang]

What a great piece, Jacob.
A party of one, indeed!
I liked the all lower case text and the simple rhyme scheme...kind of like a rock song.
Party on bro!
I might have to come down off my hill though...
Z.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i hear ya, Zeitnot...thank you...

j.

[Norman 223]

Maybe I'm wrong,but I interpreted being alone on the hill implied being aloof. Come down, mingle, have fun and grow old disgracefully - like me. My wife tells me "Act your age, not your shoe size".

Norman

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like your take on this Norman....but your wife would scold me for sure...i have never acted my age...i still feel like i'm 21...:)))

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Once bitten, twice shy...and yet, if you don't try, you never know and you remain alone up on that hill. The rhyming in this one is great. A person can be cautious, but to stay up on that hill alone and never come down is to be in a darkened rut forever. It seems no matter how many times a heart is broken, it can rebound. I liked this one. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i appreciate your review and what you said about the rhyme..it just came out that way--did a little work on a couple lines...but you know i am not a rhymer by trade...so thanks, Lydi...

glad it worked.

[W.k.kortas]

Ah, day after day, alone on that hill...a wry little touch there. This is what we get for not being patsies.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that hill is spacious though...especially with so few of us up there on it...ha ha.
thank you, W.k.

j.