Diagnosis

Diagnosis

 

 

varicose veins extend through his paragraphs,

his story having a troubled theme walking unsteadily

as he raises cane with the old typewriter

that can't keep up with his racing mind

 

his legs ache, like his heart

she drew a forlorn map on his heart

and the route to insatiable love

detoured into pale skin

and darkened blood,

 

perhaps plastic surgery might rearrange his semantics

but the conclusion of the story?

 

eventually will clot

into an Aneurysm 

causing total writer's block

and eventually death within

blank walls of a paper incision.

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/29/16

Reviews

[Solar]

He is so Able ' he raises cane with the old typewriter'!

Diagnosis - a pulsing artery in this poem of originality and verve!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

such a clever response...made me smile. thank you, Solar. Appreciate your visits.

j.

[Paavana Varma]

Enjoyed reading it. The sustained rhythm was excellent!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you you, Paavana.

j.

[Ken Simm.]

Its how you are so incisive that gets me every time.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, my friend.

j.

[Woody]

brilliant!! absolutely stunning. most poems here are more or less the same. your style, jacob is unique and can never be imitated. pure delight.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that is very kind and encouraging for you to say, Woody---

thank you.

j.

[alifeacoustic]

This Jacob, is superb. The first verse completely sums up the fact that no matter how slow and sore we get, the motor in our heads forgot to read the memo and still tears around like a little kid high on e numbers and life. My favourite line however has to be "perhaps plastic surgery might rearrange his semantics"... let me know how that goes and get me the surgeons card please.
I love the pace and flow of your words Jacob. Always just so, nothing spare and not only completes the story, but leaves you wondering beyond the stories end. Superb.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you so much for your very kind review, alife.

j.