just before the stillness intercedes

just before the stillness intercedes

 

 

hi top forest,

redwood hats,

limbs bowed in etiquette's rendering

 

courteous leaves trying to silently weep

but the young grass below

feels the aged tears pond themselves

 

as floods of emotion

get lost in wooded ambivalence

and suddenly, 

 

the breeze tears itself apart

trying to decide,

which way to fall.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

1/5/15

Reviews

[Wraith.]

'the breeze tears itself apart'

Perfect.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Wraith.

j.

[...]

Absolutely gorgeous imagery, Jacob! I love it!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, lynn.

j.

[David Scott]

Oh, I like the last lines here. The picture of the wind being torn apart so stillness may enter was vivid in my mind.
Stillness is rare these days.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, David.
j.

[Tom]

Affairs of the heart often run very deep and can become complicated, even tempestuous, so prudent to act quickly and be decisive while there is still some semblance of calm before a storm tears the roof off !!

Excillerating poetry Jacob, sublime use of creative metaphor !

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Tom,

j.

[Jennesis]

I feel the layers of meaning here. Not just about the delicate and sometimes powerful destructive force of nature, but of those moments in our lives, as we attempt to shed the old emotional states, before life sweeps in with another thing to deal with.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Jenn...

j.

[softlyfall]

It's funny that all of the other comments center on this poem being mystical but my perception is almost diametrically opposite. The language and metaphors are truly glorious, transcendent in luxury and depth, but I feel the power and weight of Nature, not enigma. There is personification in the emotions attributed to these events of Nature that make it even more identifiable as one with us.
Spiritual. Deep. But resonating in the same way that cell memory resonates and therefor knowable, not mystical.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, softlyfall...

j.

[ms. barrie]

a very profound, mystical piece...your gift of language, metaphors and imagery never fails to amaze readers.. stunning ink! thanks for sharing :) X

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, barrie...

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

The beauty of nature comes alive in this one. Even nature has its woes and its stress. Still, the circle of life does take care of itself....and we have to believe that will happen in our lives as well. What is meant to be will eventually be. I liked this. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Lydi...

j.

[iand63]

There is a metaphysical undertow here that is subtly interwoven. That elemental crescendo before calm prevails and relational stability is once again achieved. There are many facets to this piece Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, ian,

j.

[jesserose99]

how can I describe the image you have placed in my mind. I have visited the redwoods and it was like a magical fairy forest, and yet that fails to describe the almost mystical experience I encountered. Your words come in on the breeze as if they have always been there, hanging in the trees.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, jesserose.

j.