free will

free will

 

 

 

split wings,

early Angels fathom

the escalating up and down

 

the good guys wore uniforms

of white clouds,

the soft billowy touch against

a blue canvas

 

while the bad guys dressed

in storm clouds,

dark reflections in symphony

with off key violins

and pounding drums,

sounding the insolent beats

of negativity,

 

and once the fray was unleashed

the sky settled into a dominant

grayish hue

and some scattered patches of blue

 

leaving us with split conscience

and a pallet of colors

with which to paint the sky

 

as our own wings determine.

 

erin-cilberto

1/1/16

Reviews

[andrew mitchell]

I love the metaphor here although the weather certainly has a will of its own. Most people are lucky to have free will to fulfill their life's journey, others are imprisoned due to their beliefs exercising their free will!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, andrew...

j.

[Corset]

Heaven and earth and all the colors between, none could exist without the other, never all good never all bad, the trick is a balancing act, and patience, oh lord don't we all need it? love this one Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Corset,
j.

[redzone]

aahhh "free will"... yes, yes we all have it.. to me though it is in acting on truth and not just doing whatever one likes (the persuit of happiness), but digging into the real world and changing it in the way that things are able to be changed (due to the motion and development of internal contradictions, can't make a bird give birth to a crocodile no matter how hard you try)... and most definitely in this we need a full rich pallet of colors... metaphor and poetry, painting and art, music and literature all are needed to be fully human and really alive... freedom is really the recognition and changing of necessity and in this we can not live by bread alone (using a commonly known pallet of colors)...

sorry Jacob, it's Monday morning, woke up with a headache and philosophical dreams still wandering in my mind... hope you don't mind my musing on your poem... I will try to do better on the next one I read... after some coffee though (and aspirin) ;0)

redzone

[jacob erin-cilberto]

do better? are you kidding? i love these musings---if any of us is able to get a reaction like this to one of our poems...we are smiling...

j.

[iand63]

Weathering internal storms is a skill honed over time. If I had £1 for every time I get hit by lightening I would be a very rich man. Free will is not a gift it is a hard won prize. Good one Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, ian...

j.

[Kelsey Ann]

If I could paint the sky, I'd paint it pink, teal, & coral hehe. I really like this poem and metaphor you used for free will. It seems to me like a new spin on the classic saying "the sky's the limit". Great job :D

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Kelsey...
j.

[...]

Life is about learning. free will is the colors we choose/use to paint our "world" Life is what we make it despite the black and white duality there is balance in-between...the sun shines in the eye of the storm, the heart is vibrant despite the storm of the mind

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, lynn...

j.

[Adam Adams]

Seemed quite intellectualy relatable to modernism where u find many faces undisguised with or without the truism of heart. Yeah... am talking 'bout friends who show their true colors when it certainly comes to reality. They remove the very vague panoramic view of bad-ness vs. good-ness or vice-versa, & it's kinda way fascinating to be learned of all chapters of life cos, u knw what, life's all 'bout "experiences" one savors in life either with pleasure or without guilt. Funny it is, somehow, ur poetry reminds me such diplomatic things which, presumably, ain't got any concern with the words u chose pen'g on. Sounds interesting!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Adams,
j.

[B]

Waw
this is way better than mine

so artistic
in a way it resembles free will in every word

reading this is a journey of complete freedom to explore and learn of art

just enchanting

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Nisreen.

j.

[Solar]

Love this 'cloud-atlas' of 'white-cloud uniforms' and storm-clouds with 'insolent beats'....no blue sky thinking - but a pallet of colours - the free-will...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Solar,
j.

[V]

I like how you included colors into this poem to create a certain imagery. Great final line. I'm into the choice of words, anyway. Your poems often read so lightly, turning simple words or expressions into something meaningful.
I always kind of struggle with free verse a bit when writing something down on my own, you just seem to manage it so easily...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i am just much more natural with free verse and only rhyme when that comes naturally...i just feel writing works better if we just let the pen move on its own...or the keys depress on their own...
i thank you for your kind words, mimi.

j.

[V]

You're welcome. Maybe I'm just too much of a perfectionist to just let my mind leave its traces on paper without overthinking it again and again. I cannot help my (very frequently occurring) rhyming lines, they just seem to appear out of nowhere :P and I kind of like it but on the other hand, I want to try out something new, as well.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think whatever comes more natural to the poet, eventually he or she will find a niche...
and for some, rhyme is just more natural...but yes, experimenting in writing never hurts.

j.