the usual broken promises

the usual broken promises

 

 

levitation,

wishes rising like reverse snowflakes

icicle inclusions

resolutions, like

letting love melt a stoic heart

banished

 

maybe tomorrow,

maybe the same wishes next year

 

maybe imagination of a conflagration 

dampens the match,

and those snowflakes find the ground

unabated

 

undated,

he finds shelter from his own happiness

 

and drinks a toast

to loneliness,

 

safely absolute 

that he won't con-volute his mind

with such matters as attachment. 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

12/31/15

Reviews

[Scrap]

This is such a true message. The buddhists live by this. True path to Happiness

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, a simple but happy and fulfilled life they lead...thank you, Scrap.

j.

[David Scott]

Can we "un-fall" the snow? A cold reminder of fact over fiction.
Oh, I've been pondering the concept of attachment lately... Can be harmful, may be unavoidable. Hmmm? Good fertilizer for the seeds of thought. (Not crap, I should say, but nutrient to be sure.) ha.
Loved the read.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for the kind words, and the smile, David...from now on when i write something and i hate it...i will think of it as nutrient instead of crap...:))))

j.

[David Scott]

Well, if I have learned anything here it is to just give what we have to give and not judge ourselves. We tend to be harsh when we should be gentle and gentle when we need to be more directive with ourselves. I think judging ourselves is a form an unhealthy attachment. Oh... Just had a thought... Like there are no dumb questions for you students to ask of their teacher, there is no "crap" from creative expression. The crap comes from how we digest the thoughts and attaché meanings... IMO. I love this topic BTW. Ha. Ok, I'll stop and not have any more coffee.
Have a great day!

[Lydia Shutter]

WOW....lots of introspection here. "he finds shelter from his own happiness"....what a great line! How often do we shoot ourselves in the foot. We miss out on happiness because...because....well, in retrospect the reasons never seem as insurmountable as they did when they first presented themselves. The scattered rhyme drew me in again. I can identify with this one....and actually the poem I posted today has a similar theme. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Lydi.

j.

[Cryingkate]

Swell job on the first verse esp. I see it as slowly reversing ones dreams back from where they came.
A slow letting go. yet sometimes holding it as if a still frame with a dream or two, then again submissively sinking away with time uncounted into a space of thought where he hides himself as well as possible behind a curtain of the painful reality and veils himself from his heart and thoughts.

They say" it takes a lonely man to walk a lonely mile" I think this write proves you need new snickers :-) Snickers/ I mean sneakers.. oh hell yeah ok yeah get some new snickers too. They are delicious... :-) They are good for chasing the blues too.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

as long as it's not peanut butter snickers, cause as Ted Nancy says..."it isn't even a snickers anymore"
:)))

thank you for your words, Connie.

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

I think you really show in this poem a kind of over the top knowledge about writing, writing poetry and the years attending to English literature.

Sometimes I feel like a kid in school reading a master of poetry. Great stuff Jacob.

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Al.
j.

[Cherry]

I can feel the desire for dismissal in this. The pain too great to bear yet again, he lessens the impact with denial. The cold emptiness seems a part of the never-ending pattern. The word undated belies the perpetual feeling of failure, therefore relying on himself. This is poignant and powerful.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Cherry,

j.

[...]

And yet, he writes about it all the time. I love that point you make without actually saying it. And the fact that you speak in metaphor...you are so wise, Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, lynn.

j.

[dan]

Oh yes, resolutions are the most broken of promises to self, and sadly some spend New Year's Eve looking back wistfully at the ones that weren't kept. I always like how you can take a subject we all may tend to take for granted and craft a wonderfully spun tale. Also, your line that reads "...and drink a toast to loneliness" put me to mind of Billy Joel's "The Piano Man," when he sings, "They're all sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it's better than drinking alone." Another write of yours that employs an extended metaphor and rich imagery, one of your best. I'm saving this one to my library favorites. Happy New Year, jacob! take care...dan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, dan,

j.

[Ken Simm.]

Excellent and the promises we break to ourselves are the worst. You really do keep constantly raising the bar.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Ken,

j.

[A hare off]

Something tells me that this is about more than New Year's resolutions. Deep writing Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, A hare,
j.