sheet music

sheet music

 

 

caustic blues,

acid tones

strings disintegrate 

in the moody liquid night

 

the sax intrudes 

horns disturb in sassy traffic

 

drums tap

heavy handed

she sheds a tear

leaves lipstick on her cigarette

a shade that was meant for his lips

 

 

outside a neon light 

flickers, a couple letters missing

 

burned out like she is

 

 

she looks around for a match

hums along with the band.

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

12/1/15

Reviews

[NeiL ArandA]

Is the muse languishing on someone or something ? I see a person drowning her tears over abottle of whisky or wine while the band is playing on the background. Perhaps the cigarrete is a way to catch someone who has alighter and that could somehowbreak the ice and lead to another . What I see here is a girl who has a man name Cassanova .

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Neil...

j.

[JayceeC]

Perfect last lines with its double entendre. I like the little bit of sleaziness added into your imagery. It's down in the heal, back street bar and music from the soul. this is not the high end of life or love.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Jaycee...

j.

[prachi prangya agasti]

Amazingly crafted, and the lines were rhythmic, a tune made out of it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, prachi....

j.

[Keli C]

Oh, I love this. A poem I could dance to. Your style is quite unique in a jazzy sort of way.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Keli...
j.

[paddy d daly]

Very descriptive Jacob, kinda reminds of something that
Tom waits might write and l don't that in a bad way, liked it...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, paddy.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

You transported me to a smokey bar where jazz played late into the night. The imagery of the sign with a couple letters missing is just great. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Lydi.

j.

[Willard Wells]

Cool Daddy. Nice work. I really like this fun piece. On the first two lines Acid rock popped in my head so I was on another adventure. Thank you, young man.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, and the smile...

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

I almost wish I was there. This drips with blues long into the night.

regards,
al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Al,
j.

[Corset]

I loved the jazzy smokey feel of this heartache, well done Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Corset.

j.

[David Scott]

One of the better poems I have read lately Jacob.
The scene was set perfectly as to introduce the true subject in the last lines... I felt like I knew her already when you finally let the reader see it was indeed she whom you were writing about all along.
( Not sure I got my English lessons correct here. Ha. )
Truely a very fine bit of poetic skill.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

exactly write...on the English grammar..

and thank you for your kind words,
read moreexactly write...on the English grammar..

and thank you for your kind words,

j.