the space between what matters

the space between what matters

consternation constellations

stars circle like vultures

under a bad lunar rising

and the quarter moon leaves

three fourths of my heart

in total blackness,

admonished

for letting you go

when you could have been the comet

shooting across my sky

making me relevant.

erin-cilberto

11/28/15

Reviews

[Zugzwang]

Yes, we all have our black days...when we look back on the past with regret. Using the black night sky and the bright stellar objects as metaphors was a great idea and worked very well, I thought.
Thanks for sharing this part of yourself, J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Zeitnot.

j.

[JayceeC]

It is in the darkest skies in which we can see the faintest of stars. and yet we use them to describe the lowest parts of out lives...just my thoughts on yours.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like your thoughts on mine....thank you, my friend.
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahhhhhhh star gazing romantics ... one only has to wait and that moon will surely go full :) great read as always sir!
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, E.

j.

[alifeacoustic]

Another wonderful insight into the workings of unique mind, seeing the Iobvious in what so few even glimpse.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

appreciate your words, as always, alife...

j.

[andrew mitchell]

Just magic J, The comet line and stars circle as vultures was brilliant

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for the kind words, andrew.

j.

[...]

Hello Jacob, I was here for another dose of metaphoric magic :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, lynn.
j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

love in the upper atmosphere without a space suit can be filled with hazards.

regards,
al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that is true, Al..very true.

thank you for your words,

j.

[Elwyn]

"and the quarter moon leaves
three fourths of my heart"

I like how these lines can be played out. We can stop the line here, as in only three fourths of your heart remains or, we can carry this line to the next stanza and complete the thought to be "and the quarter moon leaves/ three fourths of my heart/ in total blackness" and it's interesting because wherever your reader decides is the complete thought, you have two different connotations with each. Not sure if this was intentional, but it was absolutely brilliant.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Elwyn...

j.

[redzone]

When you fail to catch that comet, it truly does make you feel irrelevant... like the others who commented, the metaphors are inspiring...

redzone

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Curt. You are always so encouraging in your reviews.

j.