shallow waters

shallow waters

 

 

spinning adversaries

pivoting slanderous words

in my direction,

a poet's catch

which nets rejection

the hideous nature of truth

 

many will cower from it

throw stones at the writer

feeling it is better to skip their unhappiness

across a poetic pond,

 

than look in the mirror

and stop dancing

on their pedestal...

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

11/28/15

Reviews

[Cat]

such beautiful and exact language here...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Cat.

j.

[ms. barrie]

oy! i love the satirical tone of this ink, biting truth *s*
perfectly worded & amazingly crafted, your pen always drips
with stellar profound eloquence.
yes, some are only content within themselves when they
try to project their own inferiority complex onto others...
truly sad. thank you for sharing
p.s. i love the title of this poem ~ *favs. 100/100*

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, miss. barrie...

j.

[paddy d daly]

Well spoken and written
Jacob, how easy it is for
Bystanders to cast stones,
Let them stand and put
Something substantial on
The line, where are they
Then???

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, paddy...yes, where are they?

[Firebird]

Keep writing Jacob. I think you are well able to counter any slander about your poetry. It is clever and beautiful. I don't always understand it all but I know good poetry when I see it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Firebird.

j.

[Zugzwang]

I interpret this to be about nasty people who seem to enjoy putting others down. I have been targeted by one of these and actually tried to defend myself before I realised it was a total waste of time. Some people just seem to get satisfaction from trying to antagonise others. Silly.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, some people do....or think they are critics...when they are simply unable to feel the work...read moreyes, some people do....or think they are critics...when they are simply unable to feel the work...

but yes, we have had some dandies on this site.

thank you,

j.

[Zugzwang]

yes, from my observation, these people have a very narrow view of what good poetry is and come down very hard on anything that doesn't fit into that category. If poetry were really like that, I would die of boredom. Surely there is enough room for everyone. And yes, if they read more they would see how much awesome and varied brilliance there is out there.
And thanks for putting me on to Emily Dickinson. I think I'm in love.

[TrustyIowa]

Very cool.
I think the only issue is the grammar and all that jazz.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

referring to the lack of punctuation etc.? style thingy...

but thank you for your words, the read is much appreciated.

j.

[TrustyIowa]

Not really the punctuation. I mean, it's a poem, not a story. Just the capitalization and jazz. Poems are supposed to have mostly all capitals, if I'm correct.
Along with that, most poems are rhyme. Unlike mine though.
Still very good, too.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

actually most poets rarely capitalize the first word of every line...long ago that was done more often, but capitalization not the mandatory thing it once was...

many rarely use it...emily dickinson used it randomly, which often threw readers off..

poetry has line breaks...most often not periods at the end of each line or sentence like prose has...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh and as for rhyme...since the Beat poets of the 60's...there has been much free verse, and even though several still rhyme, most poetry now is free verse, non-rhyming.

things have luckily progressed when it comes to poetry....

[Megan]

Most don't admire or acknowledge the writer until they're famous and/or dead years later.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, that is a very sad thing isn't it? and yet so so true.

[Cassie]

Tell them Jacob, this is very good piece of information to especially those who do this things to fellow poets but we need to look at hidden meanings inside most poems.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Cassie.

j.

[Autumn Lyric]

Nicely done...I have encountered such nefarious ones on occasion and do not allow them the pleasure of a response...with the push of a button, I say be gone! They have actually given you the fuel for the fire to keep on writing as you have demonstrated here in this work...Truth has a way of doing that.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, LaShaye...

j.

[Cryingkate]

I can't help but set aside the point of the poem and just enjoy some awesome simple yet lines of huge imagery.
"the hideous nature of truth"
"across a poetic pond'
"then look in the mirror

and stop dancing

on their pedestal.."

I can really sink into a large stage of this imagery and let the show go on...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Connie...
j.