the Hail Mary pass

the Hail Mary pass

 

 

 

in the confessional

blurting out sins of coveting 

 

bless me father,

for she is my rosary,

and i want to tell her once for each bead

 

how her love is like a beautiful penance

but my lips move,

silently,

toward hers

 

and we breathe in the holy spirit

of passion

 

then i come to you for contrition

which is constantly thwarted

by the incessant ambition

 

to join her in that same prayer

again.

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

11/27/15

Reviews

[Dalton]

What a beautiful poem. The blasphemous lines are serene, and serious, and transcendental in their effect. The final four lines are excellent, as they speak to the phenomenon of unapologetic love.
Salute,
D

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Dalton.
j.

[Melissa Lynn Keeling]

Wow! Popped by to browse your writings and found myself sucked in! This is so nicely done I felt my breath catch! Loved it :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i am so sorry, Melissa...i am just finding this review now....late responding, but thank you for your kind words,

j.

[patricia]

I found this very thought provoking. Thankyou

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, patricia.

j.

[Julia Ledo]

This one is BEAUTIFUL. It's reminiscent of one of my favorite poems, Forgive Our Trespasses, by Aphra Behn. The catholic imagery is really poignant I think. Having to regret a love that's so close to a spirituality, but that's how beautiful this love is, how precious. One of my favorites of yours, I think I'm going to put it in one of my notebooks.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Julia.

j.

[andrew mitchell]

This is SMOOTH as sipping an expensive red wine. Bravo Master Poe of Poetry!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, andrew...
j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Oh Jacob! I loved this one. The humor, truth and the irony of virtue all in one beautiful blend. Bravo!

regards,
al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Al...

j.

[W.k.kortas]

I think the prior reviewer has found the head of the ol' nail-- I think the notions of the sensual and the ideal are awfully hard to separate from each other (and, as you ably illustrate, there are all sorts of religions and epiphanies as well.) Fine, fine stuff.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, W.k.

j.

[annalysiar]

I love it. The idealism, and the sensuality great write

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words,

j.

[annalysiar]

You are more than welcome

[David Scott]

Why do we confess?
Is it for permission?
Is it sin to covet that we are freely given?
Hmmm?
The poem had a distinct character leaving no doubt the love affair will continue. As it should until it should not...
You show how ridiculous guilt can be.
The penance we all pay is the consequence of our actions. This is the true "Hail Mary". The courage to go for it, whatever it is, and take what comes.
Intriguing write. You camouflage depth with the familiar. It is often work to see beyond the surface, but well worth the mental exertion.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your in-depth and kind review, David.

j.

[B. Boileau]

If your words in this piece are a sin, then we are all destine for hell.
"her love is like a beautiful penance" If her name is Mary... well, it would give new meaning to...
Well done !
bill

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Bill...i really appreciate this review.

j.