a flurry of ink

a flurry of  ink

 

 

 

first thought of you

interrogative,

questions, if approached, asked for a moment

would the answer be yes?

would you just laugh?

would i feel like a fool?

 

then the second thought,

declarative,

i don't care; the question will be posed

and if she says no, i supposed

i would rephrase the question

 

third thought, 

exclamation,

wow, she smiled at me!

i can't believe she said yes!

i might love her forever!

and then,

 

final thought,

imperative,

Be still my heart.

Take your time.

Move slowly.

Listen to her heart.

 

then write the essay

with reckless abandon.

 

 

 

11/25/15

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Being OCD about form, I love the way each stanza starts with a very interesting & original statement, from a long sequence of thoughts about the beloved. I love the glimpses into the narrator's mind, eager, nervous, confident, etc. Very enjoyable vignette about the process of seizing one's inspiration/muse by the tail.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, barleygirl...

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

WONDERFUL!!!! Written as only an English professor could. Using parts of speech to express emotions. Writing the love story....the essay of your relationship. Loved this. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Lydi...

j.

[Firebird]

Lol I love the last line! This poem made me smile. Thanks!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Firebird.
j.

[Colene Pefley]

"Move slowly. Listen to her heart." That is so beautiful. I can tell that the subject cares deeply for her, and also cares about what she wants, unselfishly. That is very beautiful. I love the structured. It flows gorgeously.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Colene...

j.

[Cryingkate]

I think I shall study this one a while, Just because.. I want to see all the detail layers you created with this one
There is a lot of craftsmanship in this one. Whether it is in layers with credit to the muse or your own Skilled Arts.
There is more then meets the Flurry eyes.....
Keeping it for study...
You get an A minus
You didn't make the A plus because I got no credit hahaha

[jacob erin-cilberto]

credit the muse, not me....

[Calamityofgin]

This introspection...what did i say, do, how.
I love the structure

Th "declaritive" "eclamation" had to giggle it feels so much like myself. If we could just relax and say what we need and feel. No strategy..cut the annalytics..but alas we aree human!

Really enjoyed darlin!
Pen love doll
Calamity of Jennifer

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Calamity...

appreciate your visit and words.
j.

[Zugzwang]

Haha- So, I'm not the only one who does this?? It's such a universal experience, this internal dialogue. I like the way you broke it into 4 aspects each centred around a sentence type.
And the final instruction to take your time was a wise one. Go well.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Zeitnot...

j.

[David Scott]

Ha!😀
A lesson indeed. To my eye it seems you have demonstrated a deep truth of living and loving with elegance. Know the foundational perimeters and know them well. Only then can the abandon of living and expressing our experiences be released to bring fruition to inspiration.
Fantastic!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are kind in review, David, thank you for your visit, and your words.

j.

[Autumn Lyric]

This is so great: each phase and whirlwind of thoughts and questions running through our minds when a certain someone holds our attention...that inner voice always over analyzing, justifying, criticizing. why does it take so long and with so much effort to get to that final thought of reasoning?
and yes, write anyway, during the entire inner dialogue as the heart becomes (more rational?) ;-]
with each sweet and "reckless abandon". Unique work!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, LaShaye...
j.

[jesserose99]

how inventive. great work...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, jesserose,

j.