Haunted Heart

Haunted Heart

 

 

 

clouds disperse,

in monster formations

but tears keep falling

like a crack in the dam

they parachute down irreverently 

opting to land upon moss covered recollections

 

and lashes spiked with disenchantment

the land is awash with blues

and it isn't the halcyon sky

 

that disappeared with you so long ago

i can only remember a deformed sunrise

through that bleak screen of melancholy

replaced with a stoic storm window

 

the day you got so cold.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/30/15

Reviews

[rubie]

we all have a built-in defense mechanism in our minds that seems programmed to protect our hearts. but every once in a great while, there is a moment of painful clarity.

such an insightful and beautiful piece.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights and kind review., rubie...

j.

[William Gardner]

I like how memory and time distorts, you capture that well, as well as the seasons changing around you. Thank you for sharing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, William---

j.

[Bright Ocean Star]

Oh, wow! Jacob, this is fantastically haunting to say the least. Very well penned and perfect for the season. That's one of the things I love about this site. Everyone is inspired by the time and season of the day, and write beautiful poetry accordingly. It is like a living, breathing document of life's changes. Absolutely well written!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Anne...

j.

[Mary]

Beautiful imagery in your poem! I think the last line, "replaced by a storm window" is an amazing metaphor to describe how we make ro protect our hearts from being broken. Love this.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Mary.
j.

[Blue]

Perfect choice of words that created a perfect imagery. I can vividly see the images in my mind. That's a real talent. Great job, sir!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Blue.
j.

[writing mojo]

I love the transition in this piece and the final sentence clearly shows the heart of what certain transitions can leave, once just a great view now a protection mechanism from the forces of nature unleashed...excellent piece

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words,
j.

[cycy]

i can only remember a deformed sunrise
through that bleak screen of melancholy
replaced with a stoic storm window

This is a sad but very beautiful piece. enjoyed reading it so much, well written. the title just pulled at me and grabbed my full attention.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, cycy...

j.

[ms. barrie]

amazing write, Sir...i agree, the metaphors are amazing in this...very compelling
in depicting the heart's lament. you pen so few lines yet your ink always speaks profoundly.
thank you for sharing

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review miss. barrie.

j.

[andrew mitchell]

I love the metaphor of emotions linked to weather! Lovely work!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, andrew...

j.

[alifeacoustic]

Brilliantly written Jacob. I felt the pain and loss in every line and I love the imagery of the deformed sunrise.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, alife.

j.