Brooklyn Breaths of Seamless Semantics

Brooklyn Breaths of Seamless Semantics

 

 

my Coney Island mind

is spinning like the Wonder Wheel

the high skies,

the grounded sighs,

the understanding of nothing

and everything all at once

 

capturing the essence of being

a writing sachet of ideas exonerated

a new landing, orphan departures from sanity

we write in white room resonance

echoes of the black nights

the screams of the riders as they perch above a city

of neon confusion

 

their carriages swaying in the New York breeze,

tilted pens

keys of exhilaration round and round the brain

 

but let's not forget the heart,

because the heart is what really feels the words

and its mute screams

are all that matter,

 

until we step off the ride

and through the gates

back into the distant outskirts

 

we tried to reach

when we knew 

what we just thought we knew.

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/24/15

Reviews

[rubie]

i love the nostalgic feel to this one.

although i only live about 35 miles from coney island, i haven't been there in years. but those more recent images aren't the ones that this calls to my mind. i remember how it was back in the day, when my parents and grandparents took me and i was fascinated and awed by its wonders.

thanks for the flashback.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing those thoughts, rubie.

j.

[Autumn Lyric]

Amazing view into a writing mind...

"my Coney Island mind

is spinning like the Wonder Wheel

the high skies,

the grounded sighs,

the understanding of nothing

and everything all at once"

It can be so many things at once. Excellent poem!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, LaShaye,

j.

[Chris]

really excellent imagery work here.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Chris.
j.

[ms. barrie]

I admit, the title of this poem captured my attention...since I come from
a large family of New Yorkers...Brooklyn to be specific
that said, excellent use of metaphors depicting profound nostalgia...
I thoroughly enjoyed the rich, detailed imagery your ink
depicted in this. Remarkably well executed poem...as always.
thanks for sharing

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, my fellow New Yorker...Bronx for me as a kid in the fifties, but we went to coney island many times....
i appreciate your review, miss. barrie.

j.

[ms. barrie]

you're very welcome, Sir...the pleasure was all mine (:

[B. Boileau]

The hearts and minds of our youth in great comparison to the exciting confusion of Coney Island. For me it was the piers Asbury Park. Excellent verses. I especially liked the touch in the font size "and it's mute screams"
bill

[jacob erin-cilberto]

can't really take credit for that font thing...wasn't intentional...computer did that...

read morecan't really take credit for that font thing...wasn't intentional...computer did that...

but thank you for the kind words,

j.

[B. Boileau]

Computer karma

[marcus]

That one was amazing Jacob. The theme park of our minds, our lives!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, marcus.

j.

[W.k.kortas]

I'm guessing the first line is by no means accidental...frankly, I'm of the opinion that, of all of your work that I have read, this is the finest of the bunch (no mean feat, by the way.) When you write about a certain place and time, you take the risk of putting yourself into too narrow a niche, but the final three stanzas are so finely done, so uncomplicated on their face and yet evocative, that it is universal.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your really kind review, W.k.

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

I found Paris 5 pm traffic here in your poem but the crawl slows down the conceptual madness. Once your destination is reached you sit on the outskirts of a French scream.

Great write Jacob!

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Al.

j.

[Zugzwang]

This poem stuck in my mind.
I guess the metaphor of the mind as a fun fair resonated with me in that it can be thrilling, disorienting scary and perplexing at the same time (or mine is!).
And the hearts mute screams was another powerful image. Great stuff.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Zeitnot.

j.

[alifeacoustic]

Well Jacob, it's fair to say that this is a unique and original idea, and leaves you wondering why I or others hadn't got there before you. The mind of the writer and a ferris wheel, likened and alike.
So many great lines here...the understanding of nothing and everything all at once...we tried to reach when we knew what we just thought we knew.
Superb.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, alife.'
j.