Blissful Ambush

Blissful Ambush

 

 

smoky alliance,

the barfly sips her martini

the spider chases a maraschino dream

in his apricot sour,

 

conversation weaves itself into a dim lit hotel room

silky resonance of neon passion,

last call words slip under covers

hands speak nuances,

spill onto coasters of intimacy

 

we drain our glasses

with wined and dined lips

and one too many sips 

of love,

 

coercing each other into the web of a night

that may have no tomorrow,

 

but for now, we simply spin tales

of conjecture,

and hush the wondering

with lethal contact. 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/17/15

Reviews

[rubie]

i see this as more than just a statement about the one-night-stand seedy bar scene. while there are people who find comfort in this kind of detachment, i cannot.

this piece, to me, underscores that unfulfilling kind of behavior and lifestyle, in order to emphasize the importance and the necessity of true human contact and relationships, which today, has become far too uncommon, and therefore more necessary than ever.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, rubie.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Delicious...and nearly decadent....imagery in this one. A one night stand...neon signs flashing outside the No Tell motel! They tell each other lies they both need to hear.....and perhaps that tryst is just what they both need. Splendid weaving of scene here. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Lydia.

j.

[B. Boileau]

A flash back memory for me of part time bartending. You've penned a vivid image. I would expect nothing less from you Jacob. You've done it again.
thank you !

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, B.
j.

[William Gardner]

good last line! your commas break strangely. If you want me to pause reading at each comma than be consistent with them i.e. coasters of intimacy is same sentence as we drain our glasses? and then of love,
coercing each other- isn't that the same line, why a comma? Finally, just my opinion, but I think you have an extra stanza between web of night and tales of conjecture

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your review, William, i appreciate your sentiments and suggestions.

j.

[William Gardner]

I do the same thing my friend. I am the proverbial pot.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Reading this poem from France added to the spicy intrigue. It sounds like they are both getting some. To bad they didn't read the poem!

Great writing Jacob!

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Al.

j.

[W.k.kortas]

The term "barfly" is suggestive of food for the spider, isn't it? Of course, not everyone has the ability to take a kernel of an idea like that and run with it this well.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, W.k.

j.

[Mitchell Baker]

Nice work! I've never been to a bar nor had such an experience, but this sure does romanticize the idea! Using a web as a metaphor for the night certainly nods towards those drained glasses. Thanks for posting this, I really enjoyed it!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Mitchell.
j.

[annalysiar]

Very very nice. I like that

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you.

j.

[annalysiar]

You're welcome

[andrew mitchell]

Rings bells of a one night stand , a night of passion, the barfly maybe unaware of spider's intentions just waiting for her to drop her guard in the boozy haze before no effort is required to strike. lol sounds good to me . Nice work J

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, andrew.
j.

[rutherford]

I could imagine this as the cocktail leading to the bedroom but also perhaps an an imagined romance in the minds of two people over cocktails. it even had the feel of booze infused hazy night time cocktail lounge where two strangers meet. wonderful simplicity.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review and interpretation, rutherford,

j.