ground floor

ground floor

 

your righteousness is like wrongful death to the heart

you tower in your dreamlike stance

oblivious to the weak foundation you lay

 

within your own architecture,

building faltering relationships

with empty skyscraper splendor

 

your eyes, the trowels

that flick mortar aside with 

reckless abandon and fleeting smiles

 

while others climb the stairs

of sensitivity

painstakingly, one at time

 

their purpose passing windows of winsome longing

to detonate your ambition,

and rework the building plans

 

that put you together

with such tactless walls

of ego.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/11/15

Reviews

[rubie]

wonderful metaphor....

it's so basic: a strong love needs a strong foundation built from trust and communication. anything less, and the building will not last.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review...

j.

[andrew mitchell]

A different take on the tall poppy syndrome for this poppy had to be taken down a level. Fantastic work J

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, andrew.
j.

[icelandicblue]

The view from the penthouse makes everyone else so small. For some there are private, keyed elevators. The rest of use must walk the stairs and we see it all because we are close enough to touch and taste it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Anne.

j.

[Insight "MH"]

A selfless person will live alone and die alone, then will be buried in the cemetery of oblivion.
Thank you for sharing.

Insight.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

but can die with a clear conscience.....thank you for your words, insight.
j.

[Insight "MH"]

Oh my, what have I done? Sorry, I meant "selfish" not selfless, excuse my hastiness. LOL that was a silly mistake.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, the selfish person will die pretty lonely, insight...for sure.

[Reflexion]

I love the whole idea of foundation, and the idea that there is so much that goes into it that is out of our control, yet so much that we have control of. Truly interesting. How does one become something and another becomes something different. We are all the same, yet monumentally different. A beautiful paradox. Namaste my friend! Thanks for your art!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Reflexion.
j.

[Reflexion]

Immediate connection with what you were expressing! Thank You!

[highonwords]

people who are proud and self-absorbed get kicked in the a*s, in the end. shallow relationships are just that, shallow, they won't survived in an apocalypse of emotional and psychological war. in such kind of relationship, people are not appreciated and cherished for who they truly are. nice write, jacob :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, letterhead...better than the poem itself.

j.

[samiha zubair]

Whatever we do should be with care as sometimes our fleeting expressions can be a tick for the falling dominos of dream. An excellent write

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, samiha...

j.

[ANTO]

yes - an ouchie, as Corset said. That's what this feels like.
Your pen is as the sharpest blade Jacob.
:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you ANTO,

j.

[Corset]

there is only one entity that we answer to for our sins, and it's freaking wild how opportunity presents itself as we waltz right on by, because we know who we are even if others do not. this feels like it's meant to be an ouchie.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Corset, appreciate your insights, always.

j.

[Cherrie Palmer]

Great analogy of an out of control ego.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Cherrie.

j.