days of a present past

days of a present past

 

 

 

in autumn

i will leave you,

 

a bonfire of burning veins

the blood extended on branches bowing

 

there we were, falling for each other once

now memories crunch underfoot,

 

when the wind settles

and the solid gold bands

bristle in cold October flame

 

we pass ourselves

like seasons that lost purpose

 

but refuse to release grip

from a tree of false hope.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/9/15

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

yesterday evening the wind suddenly changed and is out of the north ....gusts that knocked over my garbage cans ... nice title ...resurrected strong feelings are as real as they day they were born ..and those leaves will turn and fall no matter how hard we try to clutch them ... always a treat to read your work with metaphor ... love the "veins" i feel and hear the "crunch" ...its a sad path most have walked before ;(
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, E.

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Memories of Moody Blues comes to mind. Here in the peak of autumn we find hopelessness shaking and blowing the love of leaves to the ground.

Be so gracious to remind me not to trip over the hopeless leaves Jacob.

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

next to the Beatles, my favorite group...
thank you for your words, Al.

j.

[B]

I guess love survives the weathering fall
and stays on hold
never letting go

a test of love
i love the imagery
i can see a man holding a woman so tight

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Nisreen.

j.

[B. Boileau]

The falling leaves, leaving their host in autumn, falling each falling as each new memory becomes a memory

You have extraordinary vision, and paint your words like a master
Bill

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, B.

j.

[Marcus Sergiu David]

Every single line forms a picture in my mind. I loved every single word of it. It isn't hard to daydream of a dying love when reading this. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Marcus
j.

[Adam Adams]

So touching!
I like the line: "a bonfire of burning veins". Beautiful and so intriguing. It reminds me some great scenes/videos of romantic songs played/sung around bonfire. . . so fascinating poetry you've come up with. Certainly one of my fav. writes! Excellent work!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Adams,
j.

[marcus]

Hi Jacob. I really liked this one! You have taken autumn, and turned it into so much more ...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, marcus.
j.

[Bright Ocean Star]

Yes, Jacob. This one is sad. Some relationships are better left to let go and drift free. Sometimes they return, but to hold on to a dead relationship will kill any lingering feelings for either side. You masterfully used the imagery of the autumn colors to weave your metaphorical might. Thank you, my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Anne.

j.

[andrew mitchell]

ah! but what comes of spring! new growth, new love maybe an old flame rekindled.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, andrew...

j.

[KeeD]

when you say memories crunch underfoot, I felt the crack of all passed thoughts that would race through my head, now all I feel is the quiet silence, in the aftermath of time, knowing this tree won't bloom to give fruit again.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Kee.

j.