together alone

together alone

 

 

to the right

of the rite,

i saw your eyes leaning towards me

 

as i sat in the back row of engagement

the last seat facing away from life

 

my heart in my pocket

out of sight

out of mind

out of excuses

 

as i listened to the vows

expressed

i saw your expression change

 

there was a knowing in your gaze

you saw the conflicted maze

that was me running from you

 

even before the "amen's" 

could be amended

enough for my

eyes to return the lean

 

so i just looked away

and felt you disappear from my dreams.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/4/15

Reviews

[rubie]

there is nothing sadder than being in a relationship by yourself. awful feeling.

there is such palpable sadness in the last line. sometimes, we can really feel that single moment of departure, rather than see it as a gradual withdrawal.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, rubie.

j.

[...]

I read this like looking away from possibility. Letting chance go on without you. I have done this not knowing why exactly. Questioning, was it merely a fear, or a knowing, that I would just f**k it up anyway...
This was intensely engulfing, Jacob. Excellent!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i know, there are always more questions than answers when it comes to life choices...aren't there?read morei know, there are always more questions than answers when it comes to life choices...aren't there?

thank you for your insights, lynn.

j.

[...]

Indeed, sir. Questions keep me seeking, however. That's a good thing, right? :)

[KeeD]

this was great, this was so great.. sometimes the final step is the hardest. I would say the nerves and the fear and the thoughts racing through ones head at that moment, at that time is on overdrive and the way you captured the emotions of it all.. I read someone here say they don't feel sorry for him at all but through your words I feel like I can relate and connect with him. It's not easy no matter what people say to want to go in and then also fear that if you don't you're going to lose something you've wanted forever. Who's to say what the right choice is at that moment in time.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it is easy for others to observe from the outside and dictate what others should or shouldn't do...you are right....inside the situation, the perspective drastically changes.
thank you for your words, Kee.
j.

[Insight "MH"]

I didn't feel sorry for him, he who didn't take the chance when they were together, but i really felt sorry for her, when she was leaning her eyes towards him giving him a last chance, but he didn't take it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing those thoughts, Insight...

j.

[Insight "MH"]

You are very welcome.

[Einstein Noodle]

you poem put me right in it jacob .. i was the eyes, the alter ...the pocket .. so well done once again .. so glad you continue to share your poetry here on WC ... i was talking with my younger son about metaphor and my own goal to improve on its use ... to keep the thread of it strong throughout .. its not easy to remain focused ... and simple .. and packed full of emotion ..with such a story deeply run between the lines .. well done says i! well done indeed .. and tho a sad tune i am actually lifted up by your poem ..it reminds me of the Graduate in that last several scenes ... but i relate to you .. "...just look away" :(
looking back however i tell myself its a good thing i did not make a scene ... would have ended with the wrong marvelous "My Norma" :)))
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, and sharing how you related...."Elaine................."
mmmm, yes.

if we are able to, keeping the thread is key, i think.

thank you again for your kind words, E.

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIINNNNNNNNNNNNNE!! (rattle rattle rattle) :) and you are so welcome ..great stuff says i!

[Alisa Js]

Very sad again. This is the third sad one I've read of yours tonight. I hope it's just an exercise, and not a reflection of your reality.

Wishing you well.

Alisa💫

[jacob erin-cilberto]

just poetry! thank you for your words, Alisa.
j.

[Autumn Lyric]

Powerful reading...this could apply to so many other types of relationships, at different stages of life, too. Sad and moving...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, LaShaye.

j.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

You always seem to have the words to pull me in closer. I want to listen....I want to feel.....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and i really appreciate your support and kind words, Queenie.

j.

[Corset]

Beautiful and so sad, excellent words Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Corset.

j.

[andrew mitchell]

A power write and sad. Love was over before it began!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, andrew.

j.