Land, mine

Land, Mine

capsized in the Arctic,

flailing in your icy stares

strong eddies of discomfort

heart glazed in glacier stance

there is an island of warmth 

close within an imagination's insistence,

but my tired strokes can't get me there

Love is always the next wave away

and my emotions' life jacket

keeps me afloat

yet pins me to a feeling

that won't defrost,

no matter how far from you

i swim.

erin-cilberto

10/4/15

Reviews

[rubie]

wow....

clever placement of that comma. makes the whole piece.

i like to believe that not far from those icy waters that freeze the heart from a love gone cold, there is a warmer "land" that can be "yours"

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, rubie.

j.

[Willard Wells]

The heat of true love will melt away the arctic ice. Your words on cold so true as I saw with my time living in Alaska. Nicely done.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Willard.

j.

[Pryde Foltz]

The true heat burns within … tired strokes through icy climes only dims its glow. Fantastic metaphor work, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Pryde.

j.

[SleeplessVolcano]

mmmm....those feelings that just won't defrost, disregarding the passage of time or distance.

Thank you for sharing this thought-provoking piece.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Sleepless

j.

[An owl on the moon]

Profoundly moving on these waves of metaphor, you take us past the chilled air and dark places to find a warm island of peace, just beyond your grasp. How painful to drift on such cold, stark waves, with only a glimmer of hope to sustain the soul.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Craig.

j.

[...]

Pain is weakness leaving the body, but, that is a physical form of pain. The other is a story we replay over and over in our mind. Why do we keep hitting the rewind button? That's the real question. If I could steal your remote...would you hate me forever? lol I love these lines, " There is an island of warmth close within an imagination's insistence"! The following lines, "but my tired strokes can't get me there"...if without a remote, would you rest? :) I find this as outstanding as ever, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, lynn.

j.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Just cause we are not compatible with someone or grow apart doesn't mean we don't love r still love them.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ah yes, thank you for your words, Dale.

j.

[JayceeC]

Constant threat of hypothermia and frost bite are no way to live. Somewhere in those frosty waters is a gulf stream to to ride into warmer climes. Let them carry you away, and hopefully you will land on a subtropical island. But beware, the ocean is a might big place.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

such a clever response...better than the poem...thank you, Jaycee.

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Need a push, I know a polar bear might lend you a hand. Just tell him Al set him!

Nice write!

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i will look for the white bear...thank you, Al.

j.

[J. J. Nightingale]

Land ho..! ...some one said.. having an eye on Hope's Shore
While others paddle far then farther away from-
Something that will always be close by

Well done.............. Jazz

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, my friend.

j.

[J. J. Nightingale]

You are welcome jacob .................Jazz