the Wedding Band

the Wedding Band

 

 

the floor kept tipping

and my mood kept tripping

not a sip of wine in my heart

just dizzy on autumn's sardonic breeze

 

a chill in the chords

music in my glass eye

but i still see you in another world

 

parallel to my movement

as i danced to forget,

but each step caused me to remember you more

 

 

until i just wanted to turn off the band,

------------

weddings make the old ring marks

on my finger reappear,

 

and that floor of memories

just keeps getting more and more claustrophobic 

 

as i teeter in and out of silence

sure to pass out in those dreams

twirling in the arms

of my emptiness.

 

 

erin-cilberto

10/4/15

Reviews

[rubie]

a perfect companion piece to the "table 26..." poem....

if i were ever to do it again (highly improbable) i would do it simply and without all the fuss and celebration. the only person with whom i'd want to celebrate would be the one i marry.

splendidly written piece.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, you have a good idea there, for sure.

j.

[h d e rushin]

"weddings make the old ring marks on my finger reappear".

that line alone will make a person stay up late at night and ball their eyes out..Wonderfully written
my friend.......dana

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, dana.

j.

[gabrielle]

like a salt rubbed on open wound, celebrations like weddings remind us more of our wretchedness/loneliness. bitter sweet.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, gabrielle.

j.

[Clara]

The struggle of memories of a love, that is no longer. The first few stanzas seem more detached, unfeeling and then the wedding band (clever use of the word, sound vs. silence and the symbolism of a wedding ring)... transpires feelings of loneliness and emptiness.

What a nostalgic and moving write, Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Clara.

j.

[Alisa Js]

This one reads like a memory... of times gone by and not soon forgotten.

Thanks for sharing.

Alisa ;-0

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Alisa...

appreciate your read and comment.

j.

[Alisa Js]

You are very welcome:-)

[...]

A stunner, Jacob! I love how reading this is our presence into your lack there of. We time travel through your thoughts with you. Deeply engaging, my dear friend. I felt you here :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, lynn.

j.

[Gee]

Hi Jacob,at least when you see my name appear nonsense is on the menu.....here goes nothing.Got married,2witnesses,no family,no ring(for me),no reception,best wedding I've ever been to and have just celebrated our 22nd anniversary on 1st October.Arguments to date=1.Not bad eh..Always enjoy your writing,who wouldn't,but am so under qualified when it comes to reviewing your(Chris,Anto,and more)work.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sometimes those are the best, no pomp and circumstance, just love...and that is enough.

read moresometimes those are the best, no pomp and circumstance, just love...and that is enough.

j.
and you are not underqualified....your reviews are just as valid as the next reader's---and i like the way you visualize the pieces....thank you again.

[Gee]

Always a pleasure

[Corset]

fab lines "weddings make the old ring marks on my finger reappear" great write Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Corset.
j.

[m.s.early]

Heart wrenching and beautiful at the same time. I was in and out with you. Weddings are depressing. Especially when the old wedding bands reappear and the floods of old emotions, the need for accepting the way things are, and the hopes of tomorrow keep going in and out. You captured it on this one.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, x.

j.

[alifeacoustic]

Heart aching words, to describe the past catching up to the present, when memories invade not only the mind, but the heart too. Superb write Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review,

j.