a little bit country, and a lot out of sync.

a little bit country, and a lot out of sync.

 

 

 

 

it's a line dance out of step

your rhythm holds hands with my demeanor

 

and together we corrupt the concept

of togetherness  

 

till the floor falls away

beneath futile attempts

 

to recapture the once

singular beat of our hearts.

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

9/26/15

Reviews

[J. J. Nightingale]

Alone seems lonely..at times
But music is heard just the same
And JOY can be found
tapping it's toes
in peaceful solitude...

Jazzy

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Jazzy.
j.

[J. J. Nightingale]

You are welcome jacob................. J.J.

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

The efforts of the two dancing to capture that magic we all feel is what I like about this poem. It's relatable and kinda sappy which I like

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, and dragging this oldie back to the board, Joshua.

j.

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

you got it monsignore

[rubie]

I love dancing so much, and this piece sadly reminded me that I haven't done it in a really long time, and I miss how it lifts my spirits unlike anything else can.

sometimes, the only thing to do, is to change the music and begin a new dance....

terrific piece.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, that is true...begin a new dance...to a new tune.

thank you, rubie.

read moreyes, that is true...begin a new dance...to a new tune.

thank you, rubie.

j.

[Ashira Macy]

I enjoyed the play on the doing title for sure, and it didn't let on to how sad the actual poem was going to be. Speaking musically, once you lose the beat it can be very difficult to get back into sync with the music. Not impossible if you really want it, but in the metaphor you used, both must want it badly and that isn't always the case. Beautiful words. 😊

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Ashira...i appreciate your insights...

j.

[Chris]

Line dancing always seemed such a lonely way to dance...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

to be lonely on a full dance floor, a room full of people...that it is...was at a wedding last night...did a bit of dancing...was not at the wedding with someone...although i knew people there...felt weird...kind of lonely...

thank you for getting what there is, Chris.

j.

[Chris]

Thank YOU for scribing the thoughts, Jacob.

Chris

[....................]

an apt genre of music to help you describe this out of step dance of a love gone awry...some people aren't meant to fit together...well-said, my friend

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, FT...appreciate your kind review.

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

corrupting the concept of togetherness sets this poem in motion. Love that line!

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, my friend.

j.