ground level

ground level

 

 

 

the common heart perseveres

in fluent stream of consciousness

natural words on streets of passion

 

pairing with other hearts

finding intersections of emotion

far from the high rise love

filled with expectation

 

some hearts beat with frills

adornment,

all that covers the real

the real of the feel

 

and walking on level ground

ascertains a certain comfortableness

but the steps find their own skip

and the skin of the feelings soars

in its own right

 

we can touch the sky without construction

without architecture of elevation

if we just know

the feel of the real

 

and let the rain beat

with our steps,

the pitter-patter of reaction

 

without a planned course

of action. 

 

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

9/19/15

Reviews

[rubie]

to me, this perfectly states that the heart that is pure, is the one that will find the purest form of love.

no pretenses, no expectations, no hidden agenda.

beautifully written.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, rubie.

j.

[...]

I dig this journey you got going on, Jacob :) " Natural words on streets of passion"...Yeah, exactly!
P.S. I'm "feeling the real" in the art of this :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, lynn.

j.

[Jon Roggie]

This is why we can dance in the stars.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insight, Jon.

j.

[NeiL ArandA]

A heart that is humble and contrite. A heart that is real and looks for the best interest of others. It could reach and touch anyone. It will find that common ground to connect with others. It will use and take stairs to see a bigger picture. It may sometimes be tempted to take the elevator of shortcut and compromise to reach someone on top. It will strive for greater cause or course. Than succumb and stumbles to the failures and disappointment of high expectations. Fourth stanza or paragraph is beautifully constructed. Too deep for me to figure out.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you came up with excellent insights...don't sell yourself short, Neil---

thank you.read moreyou came up with excellent insights...don't sell yourself short, Neil---

thank you.

j.

[Ruth]

What a beautiful momentum...sometimes to accept what is is to be in the moment...remarkable Jacob...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for the kind words, Poppy.

j.

[~]

It all should start at ground zero with phrases of admiration and no restrictions, allowing the sun of the morose feelings to fill up the hearts and make those feet fall into love's marching band music :D

lovely piece!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, moonskittles.

j.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Great write! The No Expectation form of love just moving in an invisible staircase to the pinnacle of togetherness.

regards,
al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love your reply, thank you, Al.
j.

[....................]

love is best left to its own devices and we would do well to navigate it through its own paths...and if it isn't forced, love can take us to new heights in its own time...but, it has to start somewhere and the the ground level is the best place...great piece, my friend

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, FT.

j.

[Ken Simm.]

First of all, that phrase, 'the feel of the real' is one of those... why did no one think of that before phrases. Secondly that is not to distract from the overall extremly strong and well constructed composition. Every word fits and works to bring the reader to a myriad of different thoughts and feelings but doesn't lead by the nose. More cajoles and thoughtfully entertains.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Ken.

j.