Hold the Sugar

Hold the Sugar

 

 

rising occasions

fermenting sunlight risks

the day,

undaunted recipients expect a place

on a page of musings

 

i sip a few seconds on the keys

tap my coffee cup for answers

 

the dawn breaks

and my mind espies a slight shadow

slipping through my fingers

 

another morning of possibility 

unplugged

 

as i stare at the cream of coherence

that never lightened

the dark words that stuck in the throat

 

of near existence.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

6/8/15

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'Hold the Sugar'
erin-cilberto,
I saw this writing as the teasing of what might be in the mind. Ideas which are wanting to become real and make their way to the page as word clusters of meaning, of reality. Creativity desires to create a sweet creamy cup of coffee where poetrys inner voices are singing together but the ideas never quite create a place for the sugar. The sweetness being the finished product, the finished work. I say this because this happens to me all the time. The ideas are resting within as feelings and they need time and work to be produced and brought to the light. Whatever your meaning i spent a lot of time analyzing this really cool poem of yours.
blessings,
Kathy

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing, and for your insightful words on this piece, Kathy.
j.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Your welcome! Here is to more finding the words we are feeling and seeing them become something real on paper.

[Jane Taylor Hardy]

Love the philosophy and analogies contained in this creative piece Jacob!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Jane.

j.

[jeannemarie coulter]

i sip a few seconds on the keys

tap my coffee cup for answers

love this, i find answers in so many odd yet also familiar places, why not in a coffee cup...love the whole poem...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, jeannemarie.

j.

[rubie]

i love the last 4 lines of this piece....

some people believe that cream only clouds and muddies the coffee....

when a poet's thoughts are muddied, words are trapped in that limb of "near existence".

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, rubie.
j.

[Arjun Singh]

I lvd d way u used coffee to portray ur philosophical ideas..
A gd, nd more importantly creative write...
:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review,
j.

[Adam Adams]

A very nice scenario of "Writer's" life you've shown through the piece where he holds a cup of coffee & craves to get dwell to deepen pages (lost into words) till the dusk shakes its hand with night & the night further... gets replaced with anew wisp (shade) of morn. Nice flow of ink!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Adams.

j.

[Moonie]

Quite a paradoxical situation you've built up, Sir...what with the tapping of coffee mugs and sipping of piano keys..afterall, when haunted by our inner self's daunting questions, where would we not look for the answers and what ways would we not choose in our despair.
:)))

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words,
j.

[Cherry Pepperweb]

Coffee and deep thoughts seem to go together.
Reality never comes sugar coated.
I take one sugar, one milk with my coffee.
It makes reality easier to swallow.
Good one Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really enjoyed your reply, Cherry....nicely said, better than the poem

j.

[Cherry Pepperweb]

Hardly. I like the poem better. :)

[Alfred Kukitz]

Just unreal in the intelligence of your voice, your mind. I can't get over the machine gun application to poetry that must live in every round fired!

I think we could have world peace when your ammo runs out!

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are very kind in your reviews, Al...thank you.

j.

[Pryde Foltz]

the dawn breaks
and my mind espies a slight shadow
slipping through my fingers

Perfection in imagery

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Pryde for your kind words.

j.